Advice on how to tweak my copy to appeal to first time buyers

Hey All,

Help required on tweaking the copy to appeal to first home owners.

My property has made it onto the market. Yipeeeeee. Katrina has done a great job of staging it, just check out the photos http://www.realestate.com.au/cgi-bin/rsearch?a=o&id=105313502&f=30&p=10&t=res&ty=&fmt=&header=&cc=&c=54790516&s=vic&tm=1226027843

I am very keen to hear from people on how i could tweak the copy to appeal to first home buyers. My agent is great and is very open to tweaking the ad. He knocked up a first draft which is at the end of this forum entry.

The house is aimed at first home buyers. Unique feature is the large reserve immeditaley opposite the property. Part of the land is being developed into sporting facilities. Also in the area is a winery, cinema, golf course. There is also buses on the estate that goes to the train station. Sunbury is the home of the ashes about 34km from Melbourne with direct train link.

I noticed that newly listed properties appear at the top of the list when you first see the listings page. I was even thinking of changing the copy daily. Wondering whether changing the copy would put the listing back at the top of the list.

Here is the current copy:

A Funky Little Pad
$259,000