Good morning,
My name is Andy. This is my first meeting and I'm a renovator who is not a tradie.
Thanks for that guys, it's been hard for me to say that out loud but I feel much better now. Sorry for crying. It's just such a relief.
Would anybody else like to join "Renovators Who Are Not Tradies Anonymous"?
In particular, we need some mentors. People who have already undergone the twelve step process who can help us quit our addiction to unsafe renovation:
To be a mentor you need to have:
1) Admited that you have undertaken at job that a tradie would have charged you ten times as much to do – and completely cocked it up
2) Confessed to other members that you are addicted to trying to complete jobs that are way outside of your limited abilities
3) Either flooded a house, electrocuted yourself, put a six inch nail through your foot or burnt down a building unintentionally
4) Visited an emergency department after falling of the back of a digger, a high scaffold or something equally treacherous
5) Lied to your partner about how easy it would be to be a self builder
6) Being close to divorce or financial ruin on several occassions
7) Felt really elated when that piece of plasterboard which you suspended to the ceiling with blobs of superglue did not fall off on to your pet dog – and only clipped your three year old son – slightly
Crashed a front loader into a wall (or similar) causing damage valued at over $1700
9) Wished that you'd taken out that insurance policy earlier or employed someone with insurance
10) Never worn a hard hat even when demolishing a huge (and I mean Jumbo Jet hangar size) shed and wishing that you had – as a backward pointing baseball capo gives little protection
11) Fallen down a hole into waste deep water that you knew was there but decide to fall into anyway
12) Being "clean" for at least a week (okay three days) and not broken any building codes, employed fully qualified tradies (even to replace a washer) and generally being a professional and responsible member of societyIf you'd like to be a mentor sign up here. Tradies can apply if they are nice but no brickies!
As for joining a meeting, feel free to sign up too but don't forget to confess as accepting that you're a danger is the first step to re-entering normal society.
Now then, I'm off for a drink before I attend my other meeting….
Andy
Tops post. Sounds like you have enough material there for an entire book! (Seriously, there is no income more passive than that of a writer or singer…)Sign me up.
13. Ridden a cherry picker into the 2nd storey roof. Not my fault – it went out of control – the left/right control stick was causing the bucket to move up/down as well as sideways and even putting the stick in the neutral position sent the bucket downwards!
14. Lost a ladder and been stuck on the roof for long enough to start to wonder what the odds are of taking a 14 foot drop without breaking something…"Accepting that you're a danger is the first step to re-entering normal society…"
Was there ever any doubt?F. [cowboy2]
I'm in.
15. Put an electric drill through a hot water pipe AND an electrical wire.
16. Moved the car in the driveway in order to move some timber and saw the car pick up pace down the sloping driveway while I could only stand and watch. The tree across the road stopped the car which was fortunate as the next stop was the living room of the house across the road.
D
17) Used an acrylic nail file to wear down the hole of a door to fit a chrome door knob.
Do we need to show our suture scars to be admitted?
What are the costs of meetings?
Where can I buy the book and the DVDs?
Where do I log in for the podcast?
Will there be an educational bus tour for newbie members?
When will the committee be elected?
Bronte x
Hello Andy. It has been three days since I replied to a post on this website. …….one day at a time. So here goes……Look, I appreciate you mean well and all but for your own advantage and financial well being would it not be better to 'allude' to a "Renovators Who Are Not Tradies Anonymous"? meeting in the form of a seminar …… Then charge tradies who shouldnt be tradies, tradies who are tradies, tradies who should be tradies, and renevators who are not tradies along to this 'seminar' with a heavily inflated price, which you could then not quite as heavily discount, AND then only skim over the critical details on what makes a good 'Renevator who is not a tradie', have a few other speakers who have experience in at least three of the areas you list also speak there, without revealing any information at all unless all potenetial 'Renovators who are not tradies' buy your 'very special top secret master pack all in one workshop bootcamp pass'' with bonus materials and free DVD showing never before hidden picutres of unsupecting renovators who are not tradies sampling a refreshing yet cleansing burst of pure elbow jolting arm spasaming 240 volts in a variety of' special 'home renovator' scenarios and secret locations' and thus save you the frustration of having to do any more actual hands on renovating, as you can fund your own projects using all this money? At least give it some thought.
Well done on having the courage to bring to our attention this previous hidden addiction. All the best for future meetings
TammyIm a former tradie so Im not sure I qualify, but heres my crudentials:
18. deciding against using tile underlay on timber floor and then using cement based tile adhesive
19. hoping you & the mrs can lift an 80kg beam into position
20. making so much noise the neighbour dobs you in to the council for no permit
21. arguing that a soldered joint on copper pipe is better than a compression fitting to save $2
22. buying that "as-is" shower screen from the auctions
23. not buying the stuff you need at auction cos you think price is too high…….so you waste five more weekdays trying to save $50
24. buying the cheaper kitset kitchen because "how long can it possible take?"
25. deciding to build your own kitchen from pieces of melamine
26. only going to Bunnings 3x a day for 3 months
27. achieving projected timeframe x 3 or budget x 2this is She Who Supervises Some of the Renos Hubby does
28. Balancing on two laders, with a flimsy bit of timber across them, then a couple of bricks, then an empty milk crate to reach up to that last bit of the wall that needed painting… and causing aforementioned She who Supervises to actually hold her breath quietly when she walked in on him whilst he did it so as not to scare him into falling down. He was on no beer rations for a week after that… i'm mean yes I know it
Crashy,
As a former tradie you can only join if you we're struck off for gross incompetence. And even then, you're not allowed to join if you have ever been a bricky.
Andy
well I was incompetant when attempting to be a bricky………….that count?
heres a few from this week:
29. letting your cats run free after the painter just put enamel on stairs & architraves
30. deciding not to wear safety goggles when drilling
31. trying to carry a 1200 x 2400 sheet of fibro by yourself up a set of stairs in high wind
32. expecting help to lift something in Bunnings
33. believing the manufacturer that a 6mm sheet of tile underlay is actually 6mm thick (its 7mm)Laughed so much I nearly cried!…..
Okay, okay, yes I think I am eligible, as a non-tradie renovator, although I hope to leave this club one day and be qual'd…just so I can charge more for doing the same darstedly deeds!
Here's a few that I refuse to lay claim to, on the grounds I may incriminate myself….
1) Poking spak into the wood rot holes on old weatherboards and painting over rather than replace whole board…
2) Continued to make that accidental hole in the wall big enough to fit a small cupboard door into it , so that "YEs! Of course that was my idea…looks great doesnt it?!……."
3) Black texta painting on the white paint on the black dog……..so that the owner didnt notice……
But my favourite is what can be hidden and stuck together with glue,sticky and blue tak………
Crashed a front loader into a wall (or similar) causing damage valued at over $1700
Tops post. Sounds like you have enough material there for an entire book! (Seriously, there is no income more passive than that of a writer or singer…)
You must be logged in to reply to this topic. If you don't have an account, you can register here.
