Blonde Logic

Please keep in mind that these are jokes and my wife is a blonde
She married me (does that make her a smart blonde?)

Blonde LOGIC
>>
>>Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking……
>>
>>And one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther
>>away……….Melbourne or the moon?”
>>
>>The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see
>>Melbourne…?????”
>>
>>
>>
>>CAR TROUBLE
>>
>>A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
>>died.
>>
>>After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says,
>>”What’s the story?”
>>
>>He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”
>>
>>She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
>>
>>
>>
>>SPEEDING TICKET
>>
>>A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
>>he could see her license.
>>
>>She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together.
>>Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
>>show it to you!”
>>
>>
>>
>>RIVER WALK
>>
>>There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
>>another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I
>>get to the other side?”
>>
>>The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
>>back, “You ARE on the other side.”
>>
>>
>>
>>AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
>>
>>A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her
>>body hurt wherever she touched it.
>>
>>”Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
>>
>>The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed,
>>then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee
>>and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
>>touched made her scream.
>>
>>The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
>>
>>”Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
>>
>>”I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken”
>>
>>
>>
>>BLONDE ON THE SUN
>>
>>A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
>>said, “We were the first in space!” The American said, “We were the
>>first on the moon!”
>>
>>The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”
>>
>> The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
>>heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the
>>Russian.
>>
>>To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at
>>night!”
>>
>>
>>
>>IN A VACUUM
>>
>>A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
>>
>>She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question
>>was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
>>it?”
>>
>>She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”
>>
>>
>>
>>FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>>
>>A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
>>and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
>>one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
>>
>>Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
>>
>>”HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

CATA
Asset Protection Specialist
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