Hi everyone,
Any suggestions greatly appreciated. My husband is the sole wage earner and spends everything. I am prevented from having control and I want to invest! He doesnt mind as long as his lifestyle does not change. I have some cash away and a touch of equity maybe in our own home. (That isnt already locked up with company overdraft, commercial property etc) Can I do anything as a stay aty home mum?
CarolineHi Caroline,
You really need to have a talk to your husband re goals, finance and investing. It’s difficult to have a goal when your both going in separate directions.
Do you pay the bills or know what is going in and out of your accounts? If not get involved and see where the money is going, after about a month you will notice a real pattern happening and note where savings can be made.
With this info in hand have a chat and let him know $xxx can be saved each pay day..or tell him you need $xxx and ferret it away until you have enough to invest with.
Good luck[biggrin]
Jenny1
Can you get a job as well?
Simon Macks
Residential and Commercial Finance Broker
***NODOC @ 7.15% to 70% LVR***
[email protected]
0425 228 985Comments may not be relevant to individual circumstances. If you intend making any investment, financial or taxation decision you should consult a professional adviser.
Hi Caroline
i agree with Jenny
Your marriage should be a partnership, just because he makes the money doesn’t mean he has control over it. It should all be a “joint decision”. I’m sure i don’t need to tell you that, but you need to discuss it openly with him so that he can understand the importance of investing for the benifit of both of you.
We used to have a really strick budget, which was actually liberating because together we decided how to spend the money i made. And we gave ourselves “pocket money” that we could spend on whatever we liked. We knew that the families financial goals were being achieved and we could spend some money also without getting stressed that we weren’t headed in the right direction.
But you are a Team, your husband need to be aware that he isn’t playing like a team member.
Get him to read books like Rich dad Poor dad- it might educate him.
regards westanUSA deals, cash flow equity and capital growth all in one property.
International Property Consulting Pty/Ltd.
Property Investing New Zealand Ltd
http://www.iproperty.net.auHi Caroline
i also want to say i disagree with Simons comments, your “value” as a stay home mum can’t be understated.
Janine, my wife has been a stay home Mum and on one income we were able to successfully create financial independance. And I was working as a school chaplain on a reasonable low income (compared to what i make now from my own investments.)
You can do both – stay home mum and be an Investor
regards westan
USA deals, cash flow equity and capital growth all in one property.
International Property Consulting Pty/Ltd.
Property Investing New Zealand Ltd
http://www.iproperty.net.auOriginally posted by westan:Hi Caroline
i also want to say i disagree with Simons comments, your “value” as a stay home mum can’t be understated.
Janine, my wife has been a stay home Mum and on one income we were able to successfully create financial independance. And I was working as a school chaplain on a reasonable low income (compared to what i make now from my own investments.)
You can do both – stay home mum and be an Investor
regards westan
USA deals, cash flow equity and capital growth all in one property.
International Property Consulting Pty/Ltd.
Property Investing New Zealand Ltd
http://www.iproperty.net.auObviously I have taken a shot at a sacred cow here. Of course a mother shouldn’t work cos that assumes she neglects her children… but lets leave this one alone. I apologise to all mothers for my insensitivity.
Seems you two need to be a team. But that doesn’t mean your goals need to be the team goals as suggested earlier. Teams don’t work that way.
Perhaps you need to relax on your goals and help him spend the money…
Now you know I don’t advocate this. I am just trying to show up the earlier posts suggesting teamwork where only he changes his behaviour…..
Now if you want things to change then firstly you must change. You canot change other people against their wishes – if you try to the marriage will suffer. However you can influence him to change. Perhaps if he realises that an outcome of investing allows him to have so much more at a later date he wil swing around.
Sounds like he is all for it as long as his lifestyle doesn’t change.
My situation was similar. But my wife was terrified when I started investing. Buying $2000 worth of shares was akin to taking it to the casino in her eyes. But after I shoed her some success she is no longer worried in what I am doing. Telling her I just added $50K to a MF doesn’t even get a comment in reply. You are better offas he is open to your investing – just not too much.
So start off small. You have a home so he is already comfortable with property ownership. Discuss the growth you have achieved in that property. Wouldn’t it be nice if you had another property tracking the same growth? Esp if it just cost you $20-40 pw after eg gearing? That sounds reasonable?
or why not research the share market or managed funds? No reason why he shouldn’t let you draw some funds from the home loan to put in a fund like Platinum which has always had 20% + pa profit? (600% growth since 95) All of a sudden $10K of your home loan is deductible. How can you not afford this? I am not giving you advice here – just suggesting examples to think about.
Start off small and don’t terrify the poor man!
Do I understand from your post that you own commercial property already? If so then you are not the beginner you suggest – nor is he.
Do a search for my earlier post about Taming the Debt Monster to give you some ideas about how I got started.
Good luck to you both.
Simon Macks
Residential and Commercial Finance Broker
***NODOC @ 7.15% to 70% LVR***
[email protected]
0425 228 985Comments may not be relevant to individual circumstances. If you intend making any investment, financial or taxation decision you should consult a professional adviser.
Originally posted by Mortgage Hunter:No reason why he shouldn’t let you draw some funds from the home loan to put in a fund like Platinum which has always had 20% + pa profit? (600% growth since 95)
Hey, steady on. Perhaps I’m nit-picking, but the only Platinum fund I know of that has returned 600+% over 10 years is PLA0002AU, and it certainly hasn’t “always had 20% + pa profit”. In fact 98/99, 02/03 and 04/05 were negative. A couple of years like that in quick succession might really not persuade ‘him’ to change his ways.
F.[cowboy2]Hi Simon
I’m not saying mums who work are doing the wrong thing but i am saying if a mum wants to stay home she should be encouraged. Having a stay home wife- its amazing how they can be treated as inferior to working mums.
Simon, re the team work – this guy appears to be running the show his wishes are being met but not hers, thats what needs rectifying.
But agree the best way to change others is to start with yourself.
regards westan
USA deals, cash flow equity and capital growth all in one property.
International Property Consulting Pty/Ltd.
Property Investing New Zealand Ltd
http://www.iproperty.net.auOriginally posted by foundation:Originally posted by Mortgage Hunter:No reason why he shouldn’t let you draw some funds from the home loan to put in a fund like Platinum which has always had 20% + pa profit? (600% growth since 95)
Hey, steady on. Perhaps I’m nit-picking, but the only Platinum fund I know of that has returned 600+% over 10 years is PLA0002AU, and it certainly hasn’t “always had 20% + pa profit”. In fact 98/99, 02/03 and 04/05 were negative. A couple of years like that in quick succession might really not persuade ‘him’ to change his ways.
F.[cowboy2]Good pickup. I meant average returns.
If anyone cannot cope with negative equity then neither property nor equities is a suitable investment. That leaves just cash….
Fortunately in the property market we aren’t able to get a daily valuation so we can easily ignore price fluctuations. but have no doubt property can get negative growth – ask those who bought at the peak of the boom (of course not everyone – I was generalising again).
Simon Macks
Residential and Commercial Finance Broker
***NODOC @ 7.15% to 70% LVR***
[email protected]
0425 228 985Comments may not be relevant to individual circumstances. If you intend making any investment, financial or taxation decision you should consult a professional adviser.
Thanks everyone for your comments. I just want to expand on the stay at home thing since it has fired you all up. I actually get asked a lot “so you dont work ?” to which my standard reply is ‘yes I am always working but I just dont get paid”. I dont work because it is just not possible. My youngest baby is 10months and I have 3 under 5yrs. Add to that a husband who jets off at a moments notice and I have no family to support me. I am a nurse. I just cant make it work right now. And nor do I want the hassle. My husband is a high earning corporate and it is also financially comfortable for us. But I cant see our accounts, have no income or power and that is my point. The right to go it alone.
Originally posted by carolinehale:My husband is a high earning corporate and it is also financially comfortable for us. But I cant see our accounts, have no income or power and that is my point. The right to go it alone.
Yes, I got that bit from your first post. I assume you both/he owns his own company and company premises, thus the company overdraft and the commercial morgage over your house.? Very glad to hear that you are financially comfortable though the penalty for that is that your husband is very busy and jets off at a moments notice.
The bit about having 4 children under 5 and not having access to your accounts is new though. Phew! I hope you have help at home.
I assume the bills are taken care of by either the company accountant or the secretary.? Knew and hated that one. You feel such a mushroom.
It sounds to me as if you feel (and in reality may be) left out of everything outside the house and kids. Does you husband realise this? Have you seriously sat him down and talked to him about this? Maybe he thinks you prefer not having to worry about the business. That he is doing “his job” by being a good provider and leaving you to “do yours” at home. Yes, very old fashion but maybe he learned it at home.
Though investing is fun and can be profiable, done right, I’m not sure that this is your main problem. It may be a solution to the question of – what can I do to feel satisfaction while still being a good stay at home Mum – but still maybe not your main problem.
Being left out of everything else, having no control, not being part of the decision making process …… not being part of a team, may be.
Organise some quiet time and talk to him.
Sorry for the Dorathy Dix post. [blush2]
Good luck
ElkaHi
Maybe at this point you should try tackling one thing at a time. Your husband obviously handles all the money maybe you could sit down with him and explain how you would like to take a more active role in the money management. I wouldnt be talking about investing yet just that you would like to help pay the bill etc. Talk about your role in the household that it isnt just looking after the kids but learning to run the entire household. Tell him how interested you are in this and that it would give you some mental stimulation away from the kids. Tell him how it would make you feel , if you just demand it he may feel that his job in the family is being taken over.
When it comes to investing I would be researching which field you would like to invest in really well and when it comes time to talk to him show him your research , how you have calculated how much it will cost you and how you are going to pay for it. Show future projections for the value of the investment using past performance. Start small .Never give up, I have a friend whose husband is very negative to investing, like yours he doesnt want it to inpact his current lifestyle. They now own 2 investment properties and I heard him the other day talking like it was his suggestion to buy them in the first place.
I find it is better not to demand but to make them think it is thier idea.
Erika
Stay at home mum[biggrin]Hi Caroline
I agree with Erika. Regardless of whether you intend to invest or not, you should proactively take an interest into the money affairs of your household and be aware of outgoings and incomings. If not just for extra mental stimulation (i’m a fellow stay at home mum), but also to be better prepared for worst case scenarios. (god forbid).
In turn, when you’re actively involved and can demonstrate a good understanding of your financial position, you will stand a better chance of getting your hubby involved in your investing goals.
Personally, my partner supports my investing, but isn’t really that interested in it…yet…. That’s enough for me because I have the comfort that he trusts and supports me, and i can still bounce numbers through with him, (very important as this is both our money and our future). Every now and again, I see flashes of excitement in him, as the journey for me continues. Last year I started with small reno. I am currently assessing a project for for a 4 unit development. The journey continues! I am sure there will be a time when he is on board with me and loving it as much as I am, the carrot I am dangling slowly builds!
Good luck.
Mee Chee
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