Dutchess,
Sorry. All out of rich bachelors.
DrX, the marrying into wealth is really only in jest.
Munjy
I caught a glimpse of a story on TT in where they were talking about a serious “man drought”, and they even named some suburbs where the most single men hang around…hehe perhaps ya can look around there for a man with big pockets, Dutchess [biggrin].
He’d probably ask ya to sign a pre nup though [blink]- before ya go any further…[buz2]PS this is only in jest as well![party]
CeliviaHi Dr X
‘If my partner and I ever broke up (which is unlikely), the last thing I would be thinking about is how the stupid assets are divided, deciding what will happen to kids etc is more important than money!
who cares????
Just split the money in half and move on.’
This sounds easy in theory but even if you decide to split it 50/50 the family court and CSA can change that.
This has been covered in a previous post where a friend of mine and his wife both had properties before they got married. When they separated they sold the house they bought together and he gave her all the money $90000 because she was going to raise the children and his half could be declared as child support prepayments. 2 Years later in steps the family law court and CSA and guess what? They disregard the money given and ask him to pay nearly a third of his wages to her. This sounds fair enough until you find out that she now earns $80000 and he now earns $30000, has remarried and has a 3 months old baby. Her defactor earns in excess of $100000 (lawyer).
In regards to prenuptials they are just about useless unless you keep track of all finaces after the relationship start and draw up new finacial contracts everytime your assests change. All your defacto may need to prove is that the contracts or prenuptials were signed under duress to possibly have them made not worth the paper their written on.
C2
Rich in happiness and money is better than rich in money with no happiness.
Having been divorced and remarried I’d have to agree that if I’d been asked to sign a pre-nup ever, I’d walk the other way because to me a huge part of a partnership is TRUST. Yes, you have people out there who may split with you and take you to the cleaners – but that can also happen as with many here, where they’ve married with nothing, had the kids, struggled and then managed to achieve a portfolio of investment properties – what happens when that all goes sour?
Life is about taking chances. When my ex and I split – I walked away with nothing but the kids and half the furniture, I had my own super/job and he had his. He remarried and had kids and we came to an agreement regarding maintenance that was kept out of the courts but fair because I had a good paying job and didn’t need the extra cash that was killing him. I’ve been told that no matter how clever the document drawn up, there is always a way around it so to me it’s about trust. In my new relationship, we verbally agreed that what we had prior to getting together stays our own and anything after we split – not that it will ever happen – touch wood!
Get your money working for you instead of a bank! You could earn up to 3% PER MONTH on your money. Ask me how!
Hi Dutchess
As an ex lawyer (I am now a fulltime Mum) I will give you the best advice you will get on this subject.
Go and see a lawyer who specialises in Family Law. Don’t listen to people who tell you about the situation of a friend of a friend. It is a messy area that is open to interpretation.
Good luck. I hope things work out with this bloke.
K
Originally posted by jhopper:Interesting comments Mooki. As a divorced father, I have to say the Family Court of NSW is a place to avoid at all costs. There may be a lot of deadbeat dads out there but unfortunately, the ones who actually try and do the right thing get tarred with the same brush. Same goes for the CSA unfortunately. They are there for a reason but both can and are exploited by manipulative parties, both male and feamale.
I agree jhopper, Family Courts is the last place you want to end up. It’s a horrible place and creates more hatred and manipulation. It should only be used if mediation and counselling don’t resolve the issues.
Sorry, just had dealings with the Family Court and am pretty pissed with the whole system….It’s okay.. I’ve had pens, books, food, etc thrown at me whilst working there. I don’t make the rules so I don’t take it personally. [exhappy]
Don’t worry Mooki, don’t make a habit of throwing pens, food etc either. Am sure it is very difficult making the system fair and equitable to all involved considering some of the personalities you may have come across.
I am just glad it, fingers crossed, is all over.
yes…find the right person first! and sounds like this could turn into a forum for like-minded property investors who just happen to be single, looking and hopeful [biggrin]
Interesting post this, always wondered if there was any point to a pre nup… I certainly dont want the other half walking away with all my money. But like others theres noway we will break up… Or will we???? People being people theres no guarantee that the other half wont find something better or harbour resentment untill it blows up in my face. Were in a solid commited relaionship and have eyes for no other, however I believe in this day and age statistically things dont look so good. So many broken relationships and Most splits are on bad terms which means the other halves usually go for everything they can get. It would be stupid not to try to protect yourself.
But for me there is noway id go after a prenup. IT undermines the TRUST…When my ex and I split – I walked away with nothing but the kidsYou walked away with everything then…
hi Dutchess
without taking the high moral ground can I just give my little .002%.
first I have read the and some I agree with and some I don’t but at the end of the day it comes down to trust. you can if you wish put this here and that there but is that trust if he is going to go here or go there again is that trust if you go for a loan and you are going for the loan and the bank lends this is this trust.
we live on trust and if you dont think this person lives on trust then sorry I can give you companies all over the world but they are not going to give you the one thing you need and that is a person that works on trust.
there are 1000’s maybe 10000000 of sharks out there and the one thing that stops them from me is trust, you must trust them and get family or friends to trust them and work from there,
suits want your money more then the sharks.
I like the post we men don’t have this problem but my girl has here property investment controlled by a trust and controlled by a suit.here to help
Funny how Marriage is based on a Christian Principle, yet most people claim not to be Christian.
Funny how they shoot down Steve McK for his opening quote on his second book ~ something about ramming his beliefs down our throats, etc (not exact quote!), yet when things go down the toilet “the Courts” are to blame forthe decisions they come up with.
Lots of irony here!
If my wife leaves me (God willing that’ll never happen!) and she is awarded or ‘takes’ everything
– haven’t we learned how to rebuild it from scratch!?– wouldn’t you know how to do it faster this time around – seeing as you aren’t learning the basics!?
Just pondering the issue – bring it on!
Cheers
C@34Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to always try something one more time.
– Thomas EdisonI got married a couple of years ago. At the time I had a few assets and my wife didn’t have any. I spoke to a few friends (some divorced) and they all advocated speaking to a lawyer. First I spoke to my wife (fiance then) and we talked about it. She was happy enough to discuss an agreement and spoke to her sister about her side of it (her sister is a lawyer). She just wanted to do the right thing, and didn’t want to appear as a ‘golddigger’ only interested in money.
I sat down and thought about it – it felt ‘dirty’ to me and I thought undermined trust. If we did split up down the track the money we have made and invested while married (even if it only lasted a couple of years) should greatly outweigh the money I brought to the table when we got married. In that case the original agreement would be virtually worthless, particularly when you start redrawing equity and reinvesting it as a joint couple. I also felt great being able to ‘provide’ when getting married.
So – in my case, I scrapped the idea and jumped in head first with no ‘protection’. I’d rather risk the potential monetary and happiness loss and work towards reducing that risk (ie, working on marriage) than take the definite monetary and trust loss up front. That’s my situation, whereas others who are more established might feel otherwise. Hey, it was a few years back and I’m still happy, and true enough, since we’ve been married the assets under control are double what they were on day 1.
_____________________________
We all need somewhere to live – but do we all need a CBD apartment?Hi Dutchess, pre-nups – the way things are today I believe research research research is the key here. Alot of people have talked about TRUSTing the partner etc etc., and that if a pre-nup was ever presented that they would walk away. Look everything is beautiful when things are going well, but when relationships turn sour money always, always, always ends up becoming from “oh I trust you honey, I would never do that to you” to “I’m going to strip you of everything”. Now when people work hard to build up their portfolios be it in shares property offshore investments, then for goodness sake take the necessary “INSURANCE” (precautions) to safeguard yourself. At the end of the day when S***t hits the fan when it goes wrong…..someone ends up paying. Dont let it be you. I also agree with what a member advised, you live in your place and your partner can live in his and you can both enjoy eachothers company at his or your place.
Hope my comments made sense without sounding selfish, Hey, Life is like a business.
Simmi
34 replies to one very short question from psychiatrist; we’ve done well, haven’t we?[biggrin]
Look, I still stand by what I said, and:
If you HAVE to get married, go in it with 100% of what you have.
If things do not work out, the worst thing that will happen is that there will automatically be a 50/50 split…
Is that so bad?
You win some, you lose some.BOTH partners have put different energies into the marriage. One might have put in more money than the other, perhaps the other cared for the little kids and the family and was stronger on putting in a lot of emotional energy or be supportive in every other way. The emotional support, the caring for kids, or other energies poured into the marriage over the years can’t be snatched back if the marriage ends. We can’t really put a price on everything.
Why place more value on the finances than on other things?
Just split the possessions equally and get on with your life. As Kevin@34 said: make a new start.Celivia
the worst thing that will happen is that there will automatically be a 50/50 split…
Is that so bad?Celivia,
If you speak to a few ten’s of thousands of father’s who have been dragged through the Family Court since ’76, I think you’ll find they can only dream of a 50/50….I have not a clue what the % split would be of the irrelevant monetary side of things, but apparently it’s all linked to the provision of a stable homelife for the children….and that’s where it all goes askew.
As I said before, whoever is granted custody of the children has received a 100/0 split. Apparently only in the most unusual or exceptional circumstances is this not the mother.
Hopefully I shall never need to travel down this most dreadful of paths to ever find out…
I believe the family law courts can and do look through ANY structure that is within Australia’s law.
CATA
Asset Protection Specialist
[email protected]Cata is right.
In the end in my opinon it just comes down to doing what is right. As an example have a look at Rupert Murdoch with the settlement he had with his wife.
Instead of going to court (and yes the Family Court could split the shareholding on News Ltd/Fox apart) they decided to form a trust for the kids. Of course she is supported forever (which is what should happen) but in the end it’s going to go to the Kids. This way every party gets what they want. This is a very good outcome and in my mind thats how it should be done.
Hellman
Hi Guys,
Just on pre -nups. They are illegal in Australia under contract law. As marraige is a contract in itself between husband and wife, you cannot have another contract seperating assets.
However in the States it is different as marriage is not deemed as a contract that way you are able to have pre-nups.
Hi Dutchess,
Just to add, if you are in a defacto relationship, that is you have been living together ( Tennacy in common ) for over 6 months your partner has the same legal wrights as if you were married. If he can show that you have shared the same bed ect.
A family trust is the way to go but extra costs in Accountants fees and legals, everything you have is ineffect belonging to your children under your control. It is at the discreation of the trust who has what and who earns what.
Tax benefits is that a trust is taxed at company rates for earning capacity.
As mentioned before a pre nup is an illegal contract when it comes to marriage here in australia.
Cheers
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