Just wanted to share a constant dilema with other investors. I’m sure we constantly face the same problem. How do other people handle it?
Are you sick and tired of people preaching to you about chasing the mighty $$$$?
As soon as I tell people that I buy real estate for a living, they ALWAYS reply with “I’d rather be happy than be rich” or, “oh so all you do is chase money”, or, “how many properties do you want, isnt that greedy”
Im SICK of it, sometimes I just tell people that I’m just a stay at home mum that dosen’t have an income just to avoid the attacks!
Why is it that people can’t understand that, everyone is chasing money. No one works for free. I used to be a scientist and gave it up for real estate investing. Why was it OK for me to make money in research and everyone congratulated me after every pay rise, and now everyone looks down on me after every deal that I have made money on?
Money buys me freedom to be with my kids, if I had a normal job, my kids would be in day care and I would have to sell my time with my family in exchange for money. Isn’t that chasing the mighty dollar?
Why are poor people working in jobs seen as being good and investor/developers seen as bad. Its almost as if people are waiting for something bad to happen so that they can feel better about themselves. It’s not that difficult to see that poor people can also be greedy and bad and rich people can be good and giving. Money does not dictate your personality. Why is this so difficult for the average person to see?
To top it off, I just recieved an email from Neil Jenman recomeding a book on the good life, his quote was he “is sick of the sick persuit of money” He signed the email as “get well soon” Please! coming from someone who slanders investors for a living! Is it really that bad to want to be rich?
Comments PLEASE!!!!!
We buy properties in all conditions. Can offer Immediate Cash Settlements, No Real Estate Agents Required
[email protected]
phone 0412 437 582I’ve had a friend say with some scorn: “Well I guess we have very different ideas about money.” This after I demonstrated using a spreadsheet that he could buy his dream car in a couple of years and still have money left over for a holiday or plasma TV without debt rather than take out a $30,000 personal loan now. I was rather dumb-struck and couldn’t for the life of me figure out why he said what he did with such contempt.
Anyway, not wanting to sound snobby but poor is a state of mind and a way of thinking. The irrecoverably money deficient believe money happens by accident at best and through fraud and deceit at worst. The duality: “win lotto” or “rob the bank” and that is why they will stay struggling in their quagmire their whole life while others in the same financial position to start with will end up spending their days playing golf and lazing on the beach with their family.
What is wrong with being greedy anyway? Does greedy necessitate being harmful to others? Money is a representation of applied (or aplicable) resource, not of moral stature. If a factory worker is paid per widget assembled and one worker can assemble twice the widgets of another they will get paid twice as much. If you can buy and sell houses in a way that is more efficient (through matching buyers, renters and sellers) than doing nothing then you will be paid more.
I agree there is so often a strange belief that money = bad person when in reality bad people are just bad people and money is just money.
Oh I am hearing you loud & clear. My sister called me the other night & asked whether I had any motivational books. I said “Sure, where do you want to start” & her reponse was “None of your b@#$it property books though”. I stopped & thought here we go again. I asked what is wrong with my property books & trying to get ahead & her response was “I AM AFTER QUALITY OF LIFE NOT MONEY!” Okay then, see I thought money could actually help with your quality of life but what would I know….[blink]
Great post and great reply Surrey.
I have found that it is often best to have money friends and non money friends with whom things are discussed.
I have also noticed that as people become more successful they will start surrounding themselves with like minded people and avoid those that bring them down.
It is hard, I don’t wish to suggest you become mercenary with your friends but one must seek to find a balance or keep money subjects taboo with certain people.
I would rather be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy any day.
Cheers,
Simon Macks
Finance Broker
[email protected]
0425 228 985Comments may not be relevant to individual circumstances. If you intend making any investment, financial or taxation decision you should consult a professional adviser.
I also find the same thing. We know a family who say houses are a lesser wealth builder than shares (each to their own), don’t understand our interest in IPs, waffle on about the sharemarket and say we’d be better off with shares.
We used to have these discussions, say that you can’t build a deck on a share certificate to improve it, etc etc.
These people have money, their kids are snots (like their parents), they have the latest of everything, three new cars in two years. Big consumers. Everything is outsourced, including cleaning, ironing, yard and dog washing. I just shake my head.
But they think they are on the top of the heap. Makes me laugh. I wish I had their (seemingly unending) disposable income, but I sure as heck wouldn’t be flushing it like they do.
Anyway, to each their own, but I agree that you have to be careful who you talk to. It used to bug me when people told us we were “lucky” to have investment houses. What a joke! No luck involved, is there? Just hard work sometimes.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wish I had more houses to clean up.
Regards, Wylie
I think you’ll find Dr.X that people that bag you are probably very envious of what you are doing and wish they could have what you have. Rather than admit this people around you prefer to knock you, as if they know better. I guess at the end of the day there are those that use instruments like property investment or shares to better their life and others that prefer to winge and moan about wanting it but don’t do anything about it.
All of these responses have been (pardon the pun) bang on the money!!
I find with many people it can also be a case of the old Aussie tall poppy syndrome. If someone else is doing better financially then they are either cheating or are born in the money.
What the majority fail to realise is that you have your dreams and are actually on the path to realising them and turning them into reality. Where as the majority have their dreams, but either lack the courage or confidence to chase theirs, to make themselves (and their egos) feel better they will try to bring you down.
They also don’t understand that it is not always about the materialistic things. You leverage money, through investing, to provide you and your family the opportunity to do what you want, when you want.
That is living.
Learn, Love, Strive. Make a difference!
There used to be an old saying,
‘Never mention religion and politics.’ Today I think it more apt to change that to,
‘Never mention property and politics.’
Cheers,
Gatsby.“Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is often the best thing to do.”
The people that are bitching and moaning to you about being poor and woe betide me…life’s not fair and why are all you rich buggers so lucky…they are ultimately wishing that you fail in your endeavours and fall back to ‘the pack’.
Ironically, what they fail to realise is that if you do fall back to ‘the pack’, it’s where they are anyway…but you’ll have investment savvy and experience on your side for next time, so even if you do fail first time around, you never really fall back to ‘the pack’.
Chin up – surround yourself with real go getters, not yes wo/men, and as my Granny used to say – get cracking.
As for Wylie…wanting more houses to clean up…drop us a line, I’ve got a few that need a jolly good spruce up – tenants sure as hell aren’t interested in cleaning up the hovel they enjoy wallowing in.
Cheers,
Dazzling
“No point having a cake if you can’t eat it.”
Hi,
My opinions, there is no point to argue with people who have different view on the subject. You’re not going to change their minds on the subject by arguing. So if they think investors are bad, you won’t win them to your way of thinking by arguing. So may be better off just avoid the subject or understand that they haven’t seen the other side of the coin. How many times people who criticise others fail to realise their critics are more applicable to themselves rather than others.
If there are more rich people than poor people, then may be you’ll find more people thinking in the same way as you. But then the rich will become average unless you are very rich.
Just opinions from novice.
From FUNHi Everyone,
I too have had several people bag me and challenge me about my IPs. I have found this really discouraging, and can only put it down to a combination of jealousy and ignorance.At the end of the day, its not really about money, nor is it about property (ie. property is just a vehicle for getting what you want out of life).
My definition of success is: doing what you love to do, having fun in the process, being with who you want to be with, and feeling that you are fairly compensated for what you do.
Can I suggest to perhaps avoid talking about money/property with people unless they are doing it themselves or are genuinely interested. I just find it much easier this way.
Cheers
Cath
Thanks everyone for the tremendous responses. I agree with not discussing money and I would never tell people (unless they are in the same loop) that hey, I just made $50K profit on that property deal. I just find myself squirming to get away from the question everyone asks.
“So what do you do for a living?”
How does everyone else answer this one?
I have LIED in the past and just told everyone that I am a stay at home mum. Can’t use this one anymore because hubby has just left his job also and is a full time investor. Because the next question is, “oh so what does your partner do”? Thats where I get stuck, because as soon as I say, we buy real estate for a living, we’re back to the money thing!
So for those of you on this forum who are full time investors and have no other jobs, here’s a question for you.
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? Or WHERE ARE YOU WORKING NOW?
Just another point, its especially difficult with relatives and friends that KNOW we have just left our proffessions.
Here’s a response recently from a family member, “After 10 years of University and all that hard work, you gave it all up to chase money, dont you have enough, you better be careful, its like a drug, you will always be chasing it”I don’t know about you guys but the only way I find myself responding to this statement, is defensively. He’re is a typical response from me, “yeah, like you are working for free in your job, or you know in my proffession I used to work for charity (NOT). I don’t like it and its not in my character to be rude, but I find that I have little tollerance for illiteracy and stupidity.
There is no avoiding the subject, at family functions, it always finds us.[angry2]
Responses please, I would like to hear how other people deal with things.
Xenia
We buy properties in all conditions. Can offer Immediate Cash Settlements, No Real Estate Agents Required
[email protected]
phone 0412 437 582Hey Xenia,
Ultimately, the fact that you are doing very nicely out of dealing in RE is immaterial. You are doing something that you love and suspect that will continue to do so even when you don’t have to.
I don’t think people really need to know how well you are doing, I can’t imagine the doomsayers telling you their salary. Even if they did, they are probably defensive about it as well.
Look them in the eye, tell them you have found something you love doing and be positive. If they can’t be happy for you for that reason, the friendship just aint worth it!
cheers
Hi Dr X,
I can remember some years ago having a conversation about the “…so what do you do for a living?” question. Although I can’t remember exactly who it was that came up with this answer, I have never forgoten it. This guy said that because he found the question offensive, he simply responded by smiling and replying “As little as possible.”
I don’t quite know if I’d be able to pull it off myself (and I’ve never tried) but it sure stuck in my mind.
Kind Regards,
SonjaActually I have similar trouble when people ask what I do. I’m still working full time for someone else as a computer programmer but if I get too specific it opens up all sorts of conversations I don’t want to have (for a variety of reasons). So I reply: “I’m a computer nerd.” and i leave it at that. Usually thats all that’s required. Any follow up questions are answered as generically as possible “I do stuff with the internet and applications and pretty much whatever they tell me to.”
When I’m asked how well I’m doing I respond with: “Well enough to get buy but not as well as I’d like.” Say that with self defacing grin and a little laugh and everyone always agrees. That’s also were I might throw in “underpaid, overworked.. you know the standard story.”In your situation you could just say “I’m in real estate.” Leave it at that. How well are you doing “I’m always working hard to meet my targets.” Keeping it general and emphasising the hard work will help people to empathise. The problems occur when the person you’re talking to doesn’t understand what it is you do, that’s when they fall back on preconceptions.
When I was contracting (contrary to popular belief IT contractors make tons of cash) to stop people making negative assertions about me when they comment that contractors screw the company I’d say “I get no sick leave, no holidays, no public holidays and no super annuation and certainly no long service leave. Add to that my contract allows me to be fired without warning and without reason I’m working hard for whatever I earn.” Immediately puts people on side as they pity the poor hard working contractor. It’s only when they don’t understand that they decide I”m a greddy so and so taking advantage of the company and taking regular workers jobs.
These ideas for how to respond are fantastic. My husband is going to do the property investing for us fulltime as soon as we can sell his business. We are both self employed & trying to run both businesses & stay on top of what we are doing with our properties & developments, it is becoming too hard. So we decided to sell the business that is not performing as well now & then I will follow in a few years. When people ask “Well what will you do when you sell?”, we have both looked at one another & tried to come up with an answer. We have tried “I’m retiring” but we are only 31 so they don’t like that, so we changed it to “He is helping in my business” but they are doubting us. So I appreciate these reponses…I will have one lined up for next time.
Hi DrX,
I understand the reasons people act the way they do when the subject of money comes up. Usually those appearing to do well are labelled materialistic. However, when you delve into their perception of materialism it appears to be anyone who has more than they do, and so it is a relative term.
I wonder why you shy away from the truth. Why allow other people to determine how you feel and what you say? That is giving them a tremendous amount of control over you and your feelings. Isn’t it really their problem? Why not let them deal with their problem rather than allowing it to become yours? I realise that it can be difficult, especially with friends and relatives, but I was always taught to retain control of the way I feel and not give others power over me.
“A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still”. No sense in trying to change people’s opinions and it is unproductive. I try to continue to be proactive and productive. Do you want to be rich or right?
Congratulations on what you have achieved and I can’t see why you should allow others to influence your dreams. They are yours and no-one elses. Good luck and best wishes.
pr
How about if you look upon those people who are asking you what you do for a living as an opportunity to ‘get the word out’ about your business?
Next time someone asks you what you do for a living, think about how it is you help people in what you do and focus on that in your answer eg. “I help people sell their homes without using any realestate agents. They save some money, have no stress, and they can settle and receive their money when it suits them.’
If you are asked how you do this then just tell them and give them your business card and tell them to contact you anytime obligation free. You never know when this card will be used to call you or if it will passed on to someone else.
See it as an opportunity to grow your business. If you only tell people about it if they ask you first then they cannot complain that you are being pushy.
Make the business card professional and if they come up with negative comments tell them of a couple of stories from your own experiences of how you have helped people and that its only by helping others that you can really help yourself.
Then they can put that in their pipe and smoke it or they can call you when they have a house for you to look at!
I don’t understand why people are tying themselves in knots, being evasive and contrite in the false expectation of batting away unwanted probes.
Gathering little evasive one liners that say nothing is not something that you should develop IMNSHO…if you at all value interesting human interaction.
My sister-in-law does this to people all the time and is an absolute master at having a 30 minute conversation about vague rubbish where not a jot of information escapes. Frankly, her world is very small and the cunning evasiveness comes across to me at least as very boring and uninteresting. Most people at parties spend less than 5 minutes talking to her before moving on to someone else where evasive waffle isn’t down to an art form. Please don’t practice being like that, it will destroy your character…if you take that to it’s logical extreme, you’ll all end up like lawyers…constantly asking questions and yielding nothing – what a DEADWOOD BORE.
Why are you all so ashamed to admit you are property investors ?? Don’t hide your light behind a bushel, step up to the plate and shout it from the roof tops. You obviously work hard at it – why are you ashamed ?? This is like tall poppy syndrome in reverse with a negative expectation ??
If people (family / friends and strangers) give you the willys, be confident and tell them to get over it. You do not need to please them or bow to their expectations. If you are a successful investor you will not conform to their expectations, so don’t even try.
How about throwing it right out there with something like Billy Connolly or Robin Williams “Oh me, I’m absolutely loaded…couldn’t think of anything worse than working in a job…being rich is fabulous darling. Don’t you agree ??” Be bold, try it, get it out there and see what type of response you get. If it’s still all negative nellie, move on to a more positive crowd.
If you all start practicisng these evasive one liners, I hope I never bump into you at a party or seminar with “say nothing pre-prepared one liners”…I’ll be the one quickly moving away and finding some interesting people to talk to. We aren’t machines or walking cheque books people…we are allowed to have some character and flamboyant traits. Remember, crazy is for poor people, eccentric is for the rich.
Bottom line, get some character, don’t be boring and evasive…it makes for very dull interaction.
Cheers,
Dazzling
“No point having a cake if you can’t eat it.”
Agree with dazzling.
I don’t shirk away from telling people what I do. Only a few people view traders as inveterate gamblers, but most are genuinely interested and great conversation develops.
Go ahead and tell ’em.
Cheers
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