Hi all,
I know this is off the track from property but has anyone had to go through the unpleasant experience of filing a bullying charge against your boss at work? Great reason to quit work and invest, etc however I have been forced into this situation due to my boss who has breached so many workplace rules and values (eg. Nepotism, verbal abuse to myself and other staff, emotional blackmail, withholding information necessary for me to do my job, denying me payment for higher duties, etc). I’ve filed a case against her yesterday with the Union and I know this sounds bizarre but she used to be a friend. However as other colleagues have pointed out, friends don’t treat their friends like that. She is an incredibly vindictive person. I feel like Russell Crowe from the movie ‘The Insider’. If anyone has been in this experience I would genuinely appreciate how you have coped with the situation. I have the full backing of the Union, however her ranting and raving at me when I’m alone at work with her now I have blown the whistle makes going to work unbearable. I was just going to apply for a transfer, however I don’t think it’s fair for the other staff who I see suffer for it (but don’t have the confidence to confront her for fear of retribution).
You suggestions are most welcome.
Kind regards,
Gatsby.Hi Gatsby,
it sounds as though you’re going through a really hard time. I’m a manager myself, and I’m amazed that her supervisors are allowing this behaviour to continue. Go to someone above her head and report this behaviour to them. make sure that they know that if it is allowed to continue, you will take the company to court for allowing this to continue. I’m quite sure that you also have a case for harrassment with work safe. You could give them a call.
Make sure that you write everything down, and get witnesses to sign it if you can.
Never be alone with her and if you find that you are alone and she starts ranting and raving then leave immediately, tell her why you’re leaving and record it all. Make sure that the union knows that this is all happening.
You should be able to go to work without this harrassement.
Good luck with everything.
Landt.Dear landt,
Thanks for your concern. I work in a residential setting with 5 people with psych/intellectual disabilities on my own. You are right and I am recording any conversation and the time, date, etc with my boss. My problem is that I cannot leave my residents on their own if (when!) my boss comes in to abuse me. I phoned my union rep today and she is phoning my bosses manager tomorrow to tell her exactly what you have advised (great advice). Working on my own makes it difficult compared to working in an office for example with witnesses, however something will be worked out. My other concerns are for the people who I look after and I don’t want them to see me walk out or for them to see my boss come in and make a huge scene and scare them so I feel obliged to stay. Never the less, I will do as you have rightly stated which is what my union rep has told me (ie inform her manager that if this situation continues/occurs then I am to phone her and leave). Many thanks for your support and advice.
Kind regards,
Gatsby
ps. I don’t in anyway mean to come across in a sexist sense, but if my boss was male I know I wouldn’t feel so threatened. The field I work in is 90% female and most bullying cases tend to be males bullying females (the other way around). It’s as if because I’m a male then why should I feel bullied if you know what I mean. Male or female, my boss is just on one huge power trip and she knows it with me.Hi Gatsby
Its hard coping with this sort of situation, often there is are emotions that force us into the difficult position of not taking posative action when we should. I put up with 3+ years of abuse and constantly degrading situation while working harder in an effort to try and win over the situation. I thought of my family and put up with it for their sake. The irony is that for all my effort I was a poorer husband and father.
My advice is to take the stand and don’t do it alone, its good that you have contacted your union rep, don’t stop there. Contact work cover and seek legal advice from a solicitor. I did a bit of hunting around and found a great solicitor that was very cost effective and specialised in industrial relations matters.
Just as in property investing, put a team together, let the pros fight the battle for you, take a step back and relax, they know what to do, I can tell you that the moment I did this and let go of the emotion, not that easy I know, my life changed for the better.
I am still in the process of dealing with the situation, but I have personally moved on, I have far more important things to be putting my energy into, and my team is now well positioned to take them on for me.
At the end of the day, employers often allow this sort of behaviour because they don’t know any better and they have gotten away with it before, so often no one stands their ground. I knew I was right, and when they pushed me around, I got my team to push back, I havn’t lost yet, and they are now on the back foot.
The only other advice I could offer, is that you don’t get emotional about getting back at them, just try to let it go and move on.
Feel free to drop me a line if you need to, I’m happy to help if I can, I know what your going through, DONT GIVE UP.
Philip Batey
JATPAC DesignsAuthor of Investment Detective
Keep a diary and add to it each time she attacks you in some way. Diarys are seen in a much better light than memory in court. And the fact you have a diary regarding each incident and she dosen’t makes it all the more powerful for your case.
Rgds.
Lucifer_auCommiseration Gatsby,
I went thru something like this as a contractor, we went thru a legal investigation (set up by the company) which, in our case came to nothing. Not that I anticipate the same for you!I wonder what would happen if you bought yourself a small dictaphone and kept it in your pocket?! Record every attack, as well as keep your diary. The tape may be inadmissable but it may also, if called for, prove your point to the powers that be. Even if nothing legal happens, you might find that your boss (the bully) will be councelled or moved sideways or something with more distance between the two of you.
Knowing that you have the tape will alos cause the senior managers to act.You’re right about friends! They are people that only want the best for you, and understand that they may have to edit themselves (or you yourself) for the best possible outcome for both!
I wish you every success!
Cheers
C@34
Calvin, you were thinking along the same lines as me!! Those little dictophones are great and give excellent clarity.
After the “Confrontation” has happened, speak into the microphone afterwards and give what time and date it happened.
Also, maybe you should taking the up front approach as well. WHen she starts ranting, ask her how she is and is there anything bothering her. Maybe think of ways to diffuse her anger. Maybe there is something really drastic happening in her life that she can’t cope with. Admittedly, taking it out on others is not hte way to cope, but maybe she is too proud to ask for help or even give someone a sign that she needs the help. There are people out there who are very good at covering up emotional distress.
Having only really received abuse from customers and not my colleagues, I cannot really relate any of my experiences. However, just remember the human factor with her. If she used to be a friend, try and be a friend to her again. Difficult when she is yelling at her, but maybe that is what she is seeking.
Good luck and keep us posted with progress.
Steph.Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
careful with dictaphones. Recording someone without their knowledge goes against some privacy laws I beleive. I think you may have to have a warrant to do so.
Just a thought, not entirely sure on legality.
Keep it legal.
If you do everything above board – ie a diary is fine, but recording may or may not be.ciao
If this abuse is constant and getting worse after you called in the Union, then I would use a dictaphone and let her know everytime you hit the Record Button.
She’ll either incriminate herself even though she was forewarned, or she’ll back off and leave you alone.
It is illegal to record someone without their knowledge but what you said is a good idea. Make sure you pull it out and press record and then ask loud enough for the tape to hear:
“DO YOU MIND IF I RECORD THIS CONVERSATION”.
Make sure your get her saying yes on tape as well otherwise it will be worthless.
As everyone else has said, contemporaneous notes (notes written at time of incident) are very powerful and admissible. I would also send a copy of some of the notes with a WRITTEN complaint to her superiors to protect you against unfair dismissal.
Robert Bou-Hamdan
Mortgage Adviser
http://www.mortgagepackaging.com.auFREE Finance-Related Newsletter – Click Here
Comments made are of a general nature and should not be construed as individual advice.
© 2004 Mortgage Packaging Pty Ltdatleast the abuse is to your face. start to worry when its more subtle, no promotions, constant supervision, favouring other people….companies use this methods to freeze people out and it highly illegal. unfortunaltey for comapnies its very tough to scak people these days. so i think the best is to alert the union, keep a journal, let them know that you feel your being treated unfairly (so they cant say you never complained) and maybe go see your doctor and say you are suffering from stress (you are or else you wldnt not have posted, maybe yr not sleeping properly, short with the wife etc etc) and need one weeks leave due to the harassment at work….
that’ll be a black spot on her and it will alert people to the fact that you are not gonna take it.
cheap trick “were not gonna take it, no we aint gonna takeit, were not gonna take it anymore!!!’
i feel a revolution coming on!!!!
(yes im bored)
Dear Gatsby,
my own experience with work place bullying sounds unfortunately similar to yours. I joined an RE firm as a junior sales assistant a few years ago and there was a female agent who took an instant dislike to me.
whilst nothing was ever said to my face by her in the first few months i had coffee tipped ‘accientally’ into my keyboard, messages intentionally passed on with incorrect information, property files i was looking after going missing off my desk after hours and being subscribed to questionable sites on the net with my work address.
i used to wake up dreading going to work, often in tears when walking out the door. the whole time i wondered what i had done to offend her – turns out she didn’t like that the boss was spending more time training me than paying attention to her sales record…
as it turned out she left the agency shortly after, i never confronted her and never spoke up to the boss – in retrospect perhaps i should have.
my sympathy goes out to you, remember work takes up so much of your time that there is no way you should spend it miserable…
e x
For a few hundred dollars, I will get someone to stop her behaviour instantly.
Seriously, people like this need to be tought some manners.
Due to the fact they are in a position of power, they think they can get away with anything.
Why not suggest you get security camra’s in at work, like closed circuit TV, i bet she changes her entire aspect of work ethics.
Byronent
Adelaide SATo everyone who has replied I just want to give you a huge hug and thank you for your support and offers of advise. I’ve just got back from work (which felt like I was just going through the motions in a daze). However, my union rep phoned me this morning. She told me that she had spoken to the area manager of our region (Eastern Melbourne) and they were very keen to meet with me for a meeting. I attended the meeeting with my boss’ manager, the area manager and my union rep. I discovered why my boss has been informing myself (and other colleagues) why we are not to contact senior management. My boss has been reprimanded for nepotism by giving too many extra shifts to her sister and management asked my boss why wasn’t I interested in the extra work! When I told management that my boss told me that ‘management’ had approved her sister to work in place of me (all on public holidays, penalty shifts, etc.) management was taken aback and they then asked me to go on the record under the department’s ‘whistle blower’s act’. I did feel that I had the support of senior management. I also discovered that my boss has been putting her name to all the work that she has delegated to me (eg. client reports, pharmacological research, etc). I brought in photocopies of rosters where my boss had put in her sister to work where I was denied these shifts. I told management that I was not prepared to work alone when my boss returns from holiday to abuse me. I was reassured that if this happens (and belive me it will!) then I am to phone anyone from the head of the Eastern region downwards (which I would do anyway). My supervisor who is currently on holiday has been ringing me to see how the house is running and if the staff are doing as ‘they’ are instructed! I informed management that I will only go ahead if they do not mention anything about the meeting today until my boss is to return back to work on the 17th of this month. I think I learned more about what my boss has been up to from management than what I already suspected what she had been covering up.
I’m surprised that, in one way I am dreading when she finds out, yet I somehow feel a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
I am not over estimating my boss. She is paranoid (almost to the point of clinical) and over the years everytime I have tactfully tried to breach my concerns with her, the reply I have always received is that ‘I am not coping with work!’ Any suggestion of telling her that she cannot see anything from someone else’s perspective is met with strong defensive denial and seen as ‘how dare you!’. I also feel bad in that outside of a work environment she can be the complete opposite so I’m trying at the moment to struggle with a sense of betrayal on that level. From her stand point, the thought of remaining friends would be akin to heresey in her book. This I’m not concerned about. I am concerned because I know she will not be able to cope with what I’m doing and I’m concerned about how far she will go as pay back. Ironically, today I was told by management that her monozygotic twin sister who is pinching all my shifts was ALSO charged with bullying by her entire staff. My boss justifies how ‘hard done by’ her sister has been treated and has used this excuse to give her my shifts! As I work on my own it is very stressful as I don’t have staff support with me and I don’t want the other staff dragged into this who work there to be bullied as they don’t have the confidence that I do to blow the whistle act and take it as far as I am although they all have spoken to me about how they are treated.
pbatey thanks (and to everyone!) for your advise and as an added precaution I will be in touch with Work Cover and our Union’s solicitors as I know she will ‘believe in her mind’ that she is the ‘victim’ of a conspiracy campaign when she returns. I also don’t want to be at the risk of the Dept. leaving me hung out to dry when they feel the problem has ended. Most likely she will be moved and I don’t care what she says about me but I’m concerned that the Dept will not be able to control her against any pay back from her towards me.
I’ve taken home today all the communication books and will photocopy every entry she has documented to support my case showing obvious lies, threats/bullying to staff and myself. I wish this person no ill whatsoever but I feel I started out with her with the hide of an elephant which over time now has been reduced to thin paper. I have doctors reports where I had to go out on stress leave due to her last year and everything is recorded (she still cannot believe that it may have been related to her and actual offered to do anything to help!!!!)
Anyway, again many thanks for your kind words. I’ve just got to stay focused for 10 more days and deal with it when it really begins.
Kind regards,
Gatsby!I am glad things are looking better
Byronent
Adelaide SADear Byronet,
Again many thanks!
Cheers,
Gatsby.It’s a tough one. I have jusr been through a year of it. It wasn’t my boss, but she made life hell for me. My boss took the attitude that I was in the wrong for not being able to ‘get on’ with the person!
I contacted a site called http://www.bullyonline.com.au
you might have to do a search in case I didn’t get it quite right.
They took the opinion that the bully usually manages to manipulate things to their own advantage, which turned out to be true in my case.
After 13 years in my job, my contract was terminated at the end of December – and ‘You Know Who’ got my job!
Not very encouraging, but good luck anyway!C.K.
Hello again Gatsby,
I’m glad things seem to be turning around for you. I’m the Director of Nursing for a small hospital not far from you, so it sounds like we’re in the same line of work.
I’d like to advise you again to make sure that you never have a meeting alone with anyone.I know it seems that senior management are on your side, but really only you and your union rep are on your side. So make sure that any meeting is done in conjunction with your rep. Make sure that you are aware of what is going on before you go in for any meeting, and make sure that someone keeps minutes of any meeting. These minutes should be read out at the end to make sure that you all agree that they are a true record and signed by everyone.
Unfortunately, you may have to consider leaving your job purely for your own state of mind. I’ve seen people go through this type of thing before and even if it’s resolved to your satisfaction, you’ll never feel the same way again about your working environment.
Good luck with everything, and feel free to pm me, even if it’s just to vent.
Landt.Hi landt64,
thanks for your reply. You are right. I feel a bit like the meat in the sandwich (between my employer and the union). It’s on my mind all the time and you’ve hit it on the head. I don’t really think I could go back after this is resolved. Yet if I don’t it will look bad for my case, as if I’m doing a runner. The irony is that you already feel burnt out from the continual abuse and to speak up you find that there is so much you must do to protect yourself and prepare for your situation when you are at your most vulnerable. I just wish it was over now. However I will stay the distance and worry about work environment, employment etc later on down the track. I’m just trying to take it one step at a time. I don’t even want to do this and since I’m the only one coming forward it’s like the bully will believe ‘she is the victim’ and rally around with as many staff as she can who she bullies and because they are in fear of her they will agree to whatever she wants to hear. That way she will feel she is in the right.
Thanks again,
Kind regards,
Gatsby!I’ve just finished watching ‘Donny Brasco’ on TV tonight. I’m just waiting for my boss to find out in 10 days. I feel like Donny Brasco now after having watched it. When the Union feels that they have another ‘win’ to their name and the Dept feels that they have ended the conflict, I think I’ll have to leave my job. The Dept don’t have a ‘witness protection program’ for their employees. (There is no humour implied in this post).
Gatsby.
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