2 Jokes

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.
Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
“Bubba, where’d ya get that truck?”
“Bobby Sue gave it to me” Bubba replied.
“She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?”
“Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, ‘Bubba, take whatever you want.’
So I took the truck!”
“Bubba, you’re a smart man! Them clothes woulda never fit you.”

Joke 2

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. He said, “You must be single.”
The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said, “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?”
The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re ugly.”

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