Hi All,
I have a simple question, of which I don’t think is too personal, so here goes:
(Is it just me, or….)
Do you find that if you are talking to other people, as soon as they get the slightest hint (from whatever source) that you own more than one property, you get spoken to differently????
Why do people assume that just because you have IPs you must be some rich #$%#@ that looks down his/her nose at those who only have their PPOR???
I AM SO SICK OF IT !!!! Nowdays, I NEVER mention have ANY investment properties unless I know (or they mention) that they have them too.
AM I ALONE IN THIS????
Jo
Jo,
This waas raised elsewhere in another post- a member felt like she had no fdriends anymore because she had IP’s. She said she needed to hang with a different “class” of friend now that she had “success”. I am sure you’re not like that!!
Your post is not specific about to whom you are referring- is it family, friends, colleagues?
I find that I talk about IP’s to the people I care about- mean, if we bought a new car, we’d tell people, right, and not just keep it a secret? Buying new places is exciting, and I wanna share that with people I like. I find that they share my happiness. Anyway, don’t most people have an IP or two these days? It’s hardly like saying we just won lotto!
My colleague’s boyfriend gets 50k bonuses per year, and next year, they are divvying up the company profits, and he’ll be getting 1.5 million (at least) as his share. He’s a 28 year old venture capitalist. Now THAT’s real money!! Anything I have compared to what he has is a pittance. Next year, he’ll be able to buy himself a place on the harbour- no mortgage at all!
I think the thing is not to compare, but to be happy for whatever achievements people have. Achievements can be a happy marriage, a new IP, a new car, a new baby, a good job- whatever it is.
kay henry
Hi Kay,
Heck no….I don’t have to hang around a particular “class” of people or change the people I associate with at all. I have loving friends and family, but (at times) I do encounter a bit of “stand-offish-ness: from people who think that because I work part-time and own more than my PPOR (without a mortgage – well for now) that I am full of myself !!!!
If only they knew me…..they’d know that is the complete opposite.
All in all, I take no offense, and cop it sweet; people will be people, and everyone is entitled to his/her opinion.
I am happily married (second time round) two great kids, with loving friends and family….what more could I want?
Cheers,
Jo
Hi Monopoly,
im sorta in the same predicament, but, its not friends relate or family its more issues with my mother…
… my mum’s main concern is, she wants me to meet a nice girl, one that is responsible for her self beings but will not take me for a ride, for what i got…
… problems is, only a very few selected people know what i have and all, but as for people who dont know me or just friends, they have no idea, but that issue with my mother, she is worried, for what i worked hard for, will go down the gurgle and that, finding a sincere and nice girl, who likes me for me, is hard for her to relate to, she is worried for my interest and being, but that thought is always lingering with her, in particular girls i meet or date…
… because of this, it makes it alot harder for me, to date a girl and introduce her to my mum, without her thinking ideally wrong or getting the wrong impression, but i over time, i guess my mother will soon have to realise and understand, that my own interest can be protected and it should not be an issue for her… only time, will it be…
Cheers,
sisShe’s just being a mum SIS, I know what you mean though…
cheers
rSIS,
As a mother myself, I understand where she is coming from.
And yet, the “nicest” girl can prove to be the biggest @#$%!@ and ripp you off blind. The bottom line is THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES in love, the best you can do is find someone who YOU want to share your life with, and (in the words of Doris Day) C’e Sera, Sera. [inlove]
I had to kiss plenty of toad, married a real bad frog, before my Prince showed up!! And yes, he stripped me of some of my hard earned assets too; but its okay, I am back now (all better thanx) [biggrin]
Good luck in your quest….happy kissin’ LOL
JoThanks Richmond and Monopoly,
for the words of advice…
Cheers,
sisMonopoly,
At times i do find this, and as u say, i hav learnt to keep my big mouth shut, depending on the company of course…
A person at a high class $500 a head dinner won’t think twice to mention their new ferarri is being built, because the company they are in is used to wealth and money, but when ur a normal working class person, who takes an educated gamble, and makes abit of money in real estate, then its a different story… and you are right, all of a sudden people look at u in a different light, sad to say…
And the younger you are the worse it gets…
SIS, i hear ya loud and clear… being 24 and single is a worry wen it comes to the girls… but thats what lawyers are for….. (again, sad to say)
Jason…..
Get Her[biggrin] to sign a prenuptial agreement! That should make Ma happy!
“Dont be looking in your back yard for a four leaf clover when the opportunity of a lifetime could be knocking on your front door….” “Even though you may be on the right track, you can still get run over if you sit there long enough”
Hi Monopoly!
(I do like your posts)The key to your question is in this paragraph:
Why do people assume that just because you have IPs you must be some rich #$%#@ that looks down his/her nose at those who only have their PPOR???Do you beleive that rich people are (expletive) evil?
If you do, you are bound to have friends and acquintant that beleive the same, rich is evil and poor is virtuous … therefore don’t be surprised if they act accordingly. After all they read it hear it and see it every day. It is hammered in their head 24 hours a day, and even preached Sunday in the church.
If on the other hand you do not believe what 95% of people on the planet do, (that rich people become rich at the expense of the poor) then you have emerged from the crowd and will be rather isolated unless you switch crowd to find friends among the people who held (like I hope you do), success in high esteem, that think success and failure to be both the result of choice and not luck / bad luck.
You will be surprised to learn how wide spread such limiting beleif realy is, and how damaging it can be for your personal development.If you need some inspiration in that field, send me a personal message with your e-mail and I will send you an e-book on the topic of “accept your abundance” (free no strings attached.)
May God bless you
and prosper you.
MarcOriginally posted by Marc1:Do you beleive that rich people are (expletive) evil?
No Marc,
I do not believe rich people are “evil” but that doesn’t mean that poor people are necessarily “good” or virtuous!! I believe rich people have played “the game” whatever and however they define that game, it’s rules and themselves.
I particularly agree with the adage: Life is a journey, not a destination.
It (success) is subjective and is measured differently, by different folk.
I just wish more people would not be so critical (of those like myself, who have played it smart) and as such proceed to judge/sentence and execute us before we are even trialled !!!
Jo
I think that you have tapped into a source of some angst for folks, the adjustment to sucess and the changes it produces.. in attitude of self and others. This is why many of the “gurus” have life coaches as part of the support services that they can offer. Part of it is change management and part is accepting the changes that it produces in others and adapting to them.
My Mum cannot handle my investments, all debt is bad to her. This means that I now don’t stress her by telling her of my investment decisions.. she doesn’t get stressed and thus doesn’t stress me. I personally think this is unfortunate, as I can see the opportunities and wish I could help her see them, but she is very set in her ways and I accept that.
While accepting that some folks will treat you different if you own IPs or other investments and altering whether you diclose this to them, you also need to find some folks who support your decision to invest in your finacial future… hence these forums and local groups that meet to chat about investing, tips, strategies etc… I am fortunate in that most of my brothers and sisters are property investors as well and I can talk to them about investing.. just not when mum is about[blink]
If you find that some people are being too negative about your being an investor (which is , after all, about helping others, be they tennants or whatever) then avoid the subject with them, if they keep raising it in a negative way, you may need to consider whether you can afford to continue to listen to them.. after all 90% of investing is in the mindset of the investor and too much negativity can be very damaging to any investment strategy.
You can choose your friends… and do so for different reasons, mostly it is common interests, hobbyists for your hobbies, footy mates for footy, and investors (even different types of investors) for your investing, thankfully there are forums like this to provide a meeting of minds on property investing. If you encounter too much negativity when you mention your investments, then don’t mention them in that company, protect your mindset – sad but true.
Steve Kerr
Opportunity knocks softly, listen carefully!
SIS!! I can’t believe it –
“finding a sincere and nice girl, who likes me for me, is hard for her to relate to,”Why, do you have BO and a personality disorder or something?
Seriously, I think your mum is….ahm….confusing dating with an acrimonious divorce or something. Nobody you were ‘dating’ could ‘rip you off’, how could they?
Anyway. Now let’s say there’s a special lady you may settle down and have children with. If you love eachother, you will want to share that, and after all, that’s a great place to be in (financial security) for your kids. Real good chest beating macho man hero bringin’ home the bacon stuff.
I know a couple where the man earns $$$ and the wife doesn’t.
– mainly because she is busy with their young children. So, he is always calling it MY money “I” earn. I really don’t understand why people get married if they think sharing everything with their partner is getting ‘ripped off’. They don’t deserve loved ones. They should be left all alone on a corner to count their millions.
Can’t help thinking of Gollum, on this one…
Rich and alone is not much fun….then again, don’t rush into anything unless you ‘know’. And if you’re not sure, then it’s not ‘the one’, simple as that!
There are of course pre-nuptial agreements, but I feel that if you need one, then there is doubt. Doubt = bad foundation for marriage.
Worst case you lose half? well, you’re so good with money you can double it again in 5 years anyway. You’d still be RICH for heaven’s sake…
I love this thread!!!
“Do you find that if you are talking to other people, as soon as they get the slightest hint (from whatever source) that you own more than one property, you get spoken to differently????”
Yes!!!!
With a lot more respect- !I have dreadlocks, for heaven’s sake! So they often don’t even believe me anyway. Haha. Not that I often blurt out ‘I have four properties’.
But I admit, I have…um…let it slip, to mess with people’s minds I felt were…patronising or underestimating me!! Works a treat!
people do have a lot of prejudices and hidden biases and money is one topic of conversation where a lot tend to come out.
Since I have got into property investing I find my social scene has become a lot wider. I have fantastic hours long conversations with stockbrokers at parties now, people who i previously may have thought I had ‘absolutely nothing in common with’.
I do share it with my friends. even if they are not into it yet for them, and I do desperately not try to be a property-bore with people who aren’t into it as much as i am!! But the friends who can bear a wee update on it are the ones who ask me ‘how are your properties going!???’
And tell their friends at parties about what i’m doing and then I have to explain it all!!
“Why do people assume that just because you have IPs you must be some rich #$%#@ that looks down his/her nose at those who only have their PPOR???”
Reading between the lines: You sound like you are upset because this happened to you. Was it a one-off or does it happen a lot?
Because I hate to say it but if so, you could be attracting the reaction to the stereotype by behaving like the stereotype.
i bet you’re gonna hit me now, huh
*ducks*
OH YEH! Man,i LOVE this forum! Finally some people that are speakin’ my language! I totally agree that some people’s perception changes,but then so does ours about THEM when we find out they DONT invest! You know the internal dialogue: “Shit,wonder why u are still renting… loser..” “Wonder why u just paid cash for a $50k car,& you still dont own a home…” blah,blah,blah Also,i think others might become a little distanced, & even intimidated,as we start talking another language (hence the need to find more “like-mindeds”). I personally am from a really poor,crappy upbringing,with do-do family & mates (of which i say affectionatly), & even tho i am an investor,i am (currently) still as cash poor as them(or worse) But I found ,until recently,”friends” were hittin’ me up for loans, expectin’ i’d have it as loose change, & were getting p.o’d when i said “No,I cant”. I also find annoying things like when out with mates they will step back from the counter at payment time,expecting me to shout-often! It is an awful thing to have to ask someone to pay their fair share! I am also getting very tired of the “AW, c’mon! You can afford it, youre rich crap” b/c they automatically think i am,& no amount of explaining can convince the uneducated. Which brings me to the motto of the story: Maybe it’s time to find new friends! (& family,if anyone will adopt me!) is there anywhere in Melb investors just get together socially??This could be a good start to broadening some horizons for those of us stuck in this situation.Cheers![thumbsupanim][thumbsupanim][thumbsupanim]
Originally posted by MiniMogul:“Why do people assume that just because you have IPs you must be some rich #$%#@ that looks down his/her nose at those who only have their PPOR???”
Reading between the lines: You sound like you are upset because this happened to you. Was it a one-off or does it happen a lot?
Because I hate to say it but if so, you could be attracting the reaction to the stereotype by behaving like the stereotype.
i bet you’re gonna hit me now, huh
*ducks*
No MiniMogul,
I am not gonna hit you (not hard anyway!!!) LOL
I am not angry about people’s reaction, because (contrary to what you read in my question) it doesn’t happen to me, well actually, it did, but as you said … it was a “one-off”. Nevertheless, I (wasn’t angry about it) felt surprised that the person who reacted that way would express such hostility.Most people are fine; and I do exercise alot of discretion. If they aren’t into property investing, I don’t talk about it.
You may not like to hear it, but having money (even if you don’t sing it from the rooftops) becomes clear to others around you; and it DOES change things. Sometimes it is a good thing, other times it isn’t.
THAT’S LIFE isn’t it? Always changing…..
Jo
Monopoly, you are not alone in experiencing a change in others when the topic of investment property is mentioned.
I’ve noticed that, if I talk investment property with people at work who haven’t got one, many of them don’t want to hear about it.
I’m not sure what it is, whether they see me diferently or they feel regretful as they wish they had bought an investment property a long time ago, or they are not comfortable with the subject.
Whatever the reason, I find that it is easier to approach the subject cautiously, and only to go into details if others have investment properties or show an interest.
CarLover.
Monopoly and y’all,
I have been so hyped with early ip purchases, that as soon as the topic comes up, i get too excited to notice any negative feedback,1. point out i had a humble beginning (started working and with nothing)and that
2. I have great goals (retire in 12 months) and then
3. point out that maybe they should too. Within ten minutes we come up with a quick plan to make them “money free” (i’m trying to find a cooler way to say financially free, a bit corny i think).
…..and off they run to research it.4. And then mention that i wish i hadn’t waited til i saved up a big deposit, and that i would love to have the amount of spare time they had, so i could research and set up more baskets!!!
This gets them thinking about themselves, heaps more fun than getting jealous at you.[thumbsup2]
Be proud of who you are and where you are, don’t let anyone take that away.
[wings]lifexperience
I don’t think I’ve had any ‘negative’ people – or I haven’t noticed[cap]. A lot of the ‘older’ people (older than me!) are impressed by my knowledge and some of the things I tell them as I’m only 29, but if they’re investors as well, they search for knowledge rather than specifics on what I own etc.
I find that a lot of people I hang out with now are investors one way or another. Although I recently had lunch with one of the guys, and bricks, bunnies and bs was banned!!
Only once (because it was relevant to another part of our discussion) did the subject come up, and we quickly covered the aspect and moved on. It was quite refreshing.
With my ‘old’ friends, we don’t really talk much about it. They care enough to ask how it’s all going, but generally have very little interest in doing anything themselves. One guy especially is very concerned, and told me yesterday that ‘You need a paycheck’. What do you expect to live on (which is actually a valid question[blush2]) – I hope it’s not bunnies!![confused2]
This same guy is one I sold my very first house to just recently (last July for a $20K discount) so that he would ‘get in the market’ and stop renting (one of my other places, so then I had to find another tenant – bugger).
I think he’s actually struggled to pay for it (it’s his PPOR), but I keep offering to buy it back from him (at his purchase price, AND I was willing to pay his costs[biggrin]) but for some reason he keeps telling me to get stuffed! I’m about to send him an email to ask him honestly if he regrets buying the place – I hope he doesn’t.
My Mum just stresses about my debt levels – I don’t think it helps that I’ve just taken on a whole truckload more – and don’t have a job anymore, and am a little stressed about the timeframes of this settlement myself, but I try to keep from Mum how stressed I am these days![biggrin] No point her worrying too!
SIS, I’ll meet your Mum! I promise she won’t think I’m trying to rip you off – but if we get married – NO pre nup OK?[evil4]
Cheers
Melhi melbear,
you sound like a girl i would like to meet
ill fight the right to date you with sis
im 30 with a job
my mum is similar to sis’ but not as vocal and tries not to interfere too much cos she knows i know what im doing and have seen my successesi have a suggestion, why dont we have one of those reality thingy we always see on tv
me and sis will have challenges and immunities and we fight it out the civil way
otherwise its the CAGE(lol)nono im not violent, i just like kicking the $h!# out of people; sorry joking seriously, im not like that
hey btw you told me you were going to keep me in touch with investment stuff bout 3 months ago in forum reply but didnt
PM me if anything interesting comes up
cheers
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