Excuses for Every Occassion

Hi Guys

Here are some excuses for not winning the last game you played.

The umpire is senile.

My jock was too tight.

It hasn’t been the same since the baseball strike.

The sun was in my eyes.

I felt sorry for the other team.

My mind was on endorsement deals.

It hasn’t been the same since instant replay.

I snapped.

I swallowed too much tobacco juice.

When you win, the fans tear up your city.

Those guys are good!

I chose the wrong role models.

I forgot to scratch my lucky crotch.

Someone switched my Gatorade with ‘gator pee.

Payola, obviously.

That fire in my belly was just gas.

I keep remembering Roseanne doing the national anthem.

I got a cramp from signing autographs.

I got realigned.

It’s only a game.

Steinbrenner!

This court is too small for my enormous talent

The earth’s magnetic field disrupted the flight of the ball

The ref just hated our colours

I didn’t want to make the others look bad

I had a grasshopper hopping in my nose

My shorts were on backwards

It’s this cheap equipment

My dog chewed up my lucky bat

My socks must have shrunk, they felt way too tight

I slipped in something awful

I was trying too hard to impress the scouts

I lost track of the ball when I was reading that guy’s tattoos

I’m still burned out by Michael Jordan’s retirement

The surface was slippery which cancelled out my speed advantage

I slid on a worm

I’m saving energy for when I turn pro

That player I was guarding had breath worse than my dogs

My old war wound is playing up again

Weren’t you distracted by that huge burp >

I was preoccupied with the renegotiation of my contract

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Regards