Hello everyone,
Today, I feel that it has been the lowest point in my life. So since I like coming in here to read your fourms, I feel u all r the only poeple at this moment around.So everyone has their own low points and high points of their lives. SO just share with all here about how u manage to get thru thoese times be it low or high.Well, I am 26 married with a 5 mths old baby boy. Got intrested in investing 4 mths ago when i look at my son i fell the need to step-up and learn the smart way.Working as a night captain at woolies. Earning barely enough to keeep up with expense. As i have only been in brisbane for 3 years. The people i know in australia is not alot. So My wife and I will have argument over money every other day..This is really hurting our relationship.don’t even know if there is love anymore or its it just the child that keeps us together.And somtimes i just want to run away but i know i cannot as i am responsible for my family. When to Dad’s, got a bad advice. As he doesn’t like my wife much…eerrr…not at all in fact, he told me to pack up and just leave her and my son.So I could move back to dad’s but he won’t let me,coz of my wife. unless i leave her,.I am disappointed in him. but i guess he is just being him divorced twice, so get the picture.And now i will be close to homeless in 2 weeks.So should i run away and leave, Or stand by my family and find a way out Hmmm…how will i get out of this mess??? mixed and confused thoughs….
Anyway thanks for reading.[
] It got off my chest a little. Goodnight guys!P/s: Will update on how will i get out of my mess!
Hello jarvis
Often in the dark it is hard to see. I mean that when things aren’t going so well it is hard to find your way out of the hard times. There was one thing I really wanted to point out to you, you said you have a 5 month old son, the first year of raising a child especially the first one is incredibly difficult. There is the sleep deprevation, and at present I am guessing he is starting to get his teeth so she is up and down every night, there is stress about if she is doing a good job, it is such a hard job. There is hormonal issues, your body is not yours for a very long time especially if she is still breastfeeding, then there is the solitude being at home all day on your own with a baby is boring and all she can see is you getting out to be with real people and you probably come home and say “gee I’m tired” and that will send her through the roof … why just because her body is out of her control, the same with her reaction to the money issues I bet a year or so ago she wouldn’t have reacted that way.
I am just trying to give you some insite into why she is so ‘irrational’ at the moment. Also being away from family does not help. Be patient.
This is really hurting our relationship.don’t even know if there is love anymore or its it just the child that keeps us together
I often wondered also if there was any love really during that first year, and now I laugh at being so stupid, but back then I couldn’t see clearly. If you really love her, then she loves you too.Take up Bills advice and call him if you are comfortable doing that as it sounds like you are lacking some good male sounding boards.
Think of ways to show your lovely wife you love her, that can be a simple as washing the dishes or hanging the clothes on the line.
As for the money, you have the ability to be whatever you want you just have to want it.
Good luck I hope I have helped a little.
Cheers
Leigh K[]Carve your own path and lead the way …
Hello Jarvis,
I won’t say that I know what you are going thru, because each person’s situation is different.
I will just say that I felt similiar things after the birth of our two children, 13 mths apart in age. Life was very difficult, and I was used to living a very independent life and it all changed – DRAMATICALLY.
Please make an appointment and go and talk this out properly with a GP, it is very hard to make the first step, but even if the doctor is a total stranger, it doesn’t matter. Just talk it out with somebody qualified. Please, things are not as bad as they may seem. Do it for your baby, if nothing else.
It was very brave that you have discussed your problems here, but please seek professional advice. I’m sure if you can talk it out here, you will have the courage to take the next step.
Good luck, I want to know how you go…[
]Keep in touch,
Del
jarvis
wishing you all the best
keep tallking/writing until you find someone who will listen…………..
sounds like you have alot on yr plate. put investing to the side for the time being and get back to the basics.
keep adding to this thread so we dont worry
[8D][8D]cheers
Jarvis
You must speak to someone to get help.
I know it is hard when you have financial worries and a new baby on top of troubles with your partner. In the light of day be careful not to make decisions that might be hasty at such a tumultuous time. I tell my girls I am not rich but I am rich in love and believe me it is unconditional.Remember you will have this with your little boy. You must make a plan to see your way through this tunnel.
Get on line to let us know you are okay
take care
kodJarvis {{{{{{{ HUGZ }}}}}} Never forget hun there are people who are willing to listen. I can not pretend to know what your going thru so I wont.
All I know is that when the lowest point in my life hit…I called LIFELINE 13 11 14Its anonymous, and you can speak to someone who is qualified, and has the contact details of people in your area that can help you with alllll sorts of dilemmas.
Never think you are alone babes…..coz you aint [
]Hi Jarvis.
If you think you & your wife can’t cope you should seek help. Ring your local Community Services. I think you can get this service from a marriage counsellor for free.
Try to do as Leigh and others suggested. Caring for a baby all day is a really hard job. You should take good care of your wife because post natal depression can happen. Your wife would love and appreciate a helping hand & special cares from you. Even making for her a cup of tea can make her day. Happiness is everywhere around you. Try to create many happy moments with your wife & your child when you come home from work. Do this more often & you will feel rich with happiness & love. In hard times you often create a special bond.
It’s unfortunate that your father thinks that way, however he still needs your love & care. Try to maintain a good relationship with him but don’t let him runs your life. Never accept any financial help from him if he wants to use that as a way to interfere into your own family’s affairs.
I believe anything comes down to the bottom will bounce back up. Your story reminds me of myself back 30 years ago. I had a job at Woolies 2 nights a week to re-stock. I had to cut off the top of boxes & put them up on the shelves. I was small & thin & some of the food & drink boxes were very heavy. Peter, the nightshift manager & people worked there were very nice. When I looked at them and smiled they helped me to lift up the boxes. I was a full time student, thousand miles away from home. Most of my scholarship allowance was used to pay for my son’s daycare …. There were times I had to take my son to the hospital late at nights. I remember he was sick but cheerful. He liked to pull the nose of his kind doctors. Once I didn’t have any money to pay for the $2 hospital fee so I just stood there & cried … I was embarrassed but didn’t feel I was short of money! Instead I felt happy because my son was better and I had him back in my arms.
I have had countless low points in my life but they are just like a bitter medicine that helps me matured & grow stronger. And I have many high points in my life too. One of those is my son has grown into a very nice & considerate person. He is now a good doctor.
I hope you will overcome this hurdle and find happiness soon.
Regards
Huey
After i have read everyone postings here, I could hold back the tears that there are people who cares. I am so thankful to everyone. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Billfromoz: Thank you so much for lend a ear to me and wanting to hear me out. I will give you a call soon. At the monment i will need to a serious talk with my wife. got your mob down.
Leigh : Thanks for the advice. From your point , I understand abit more about my wife’s feelings. Thanks for the encouragement too.
Del:Thanks for for the encouragement you have shown. And I agree that for the sake of the chilren.
aussierogue: Yes I do have lot on my plate. But i will still make time for the basic and investing. Thanks for the advice. Will continue to add to this thread.
Kod: Thank for your supporting words. I know I must make a plan to see my way through this tunnel. And I will. Shall not give up for my son.
Pinky Thanks for the hugs and number. Will hit those numbers u given if i need to.
Huey: You really connected with me there for a while. I am thousands of miles away from home too and by myself.About the same job. And to read that you got out of that point of life and your son is a doctor has given me the encvouragement to take control of my life and to live for my son . To bring out the best in him.Thank you.I have decided to have a talk to my wife about going to get help to solve the relationship problem 1st.Then i will see how this goes.
Thanks to all for contributeing. There is some good encouragements here, keep it going, I believe that there are others out the that needs these words too.
Hi Jarvis
Glad to see you back on line this arvo. I was also reading all of those posts and thought that some of the words and all of the centiments were lovely.
I was thinking you should print this thread out and keep near by so you can read it when you need a little boost. There are many wonderful, giving and helpful people in this forum and we are all happy to help you.
Cheers
Leigh K[]Carve your own path and lead the way …
Hi,
I echo the voices of support and wish you nothing but the best.
Still, I don’t believe taking advice from a well meaning yet ill equipped investor forum board would be as worthwhile as seeking some specific professional help – perhaps initially a community social worker or maybe even lifeline.
Having said that, the easiest option isn’t often the best option. Think through things very carefully and never make a decision such as the one you are considering in the heat of the moment (or an argument).
Sincerely,
Steve McKnight
**********
Remember that success comes from doing things differently.
**********Steve McKnight | PropertyInvesting.com Pty Ltd | CEO
https://www.propertyinvesting.comSuccess comes from doing things differently
jarvis
good to see your back, take care and follow up on steves advice take care
kod
] It got off my chest a little. Goodnight guys!
]
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