Forum Replies Created
Another Arty and muppet…
Muppet and Arty are walking home after a night on the piss. They’ve got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot.
Muppet has a brainwave and says to Arty, “Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I’ll stay out here and look out for the police”.
Arty breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while Muppet is wondering what the hell he’s doing.
Eventually Muppet sticks his head around the door and sees Arty running from bus to bus and looking very worried.
“What the hell are you doing, get a move on!”
To which Arty replies, “I can’t find a number 25B anywhere”.
Whereupon Muppet, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts, “You idiot, steal a number 27 and we’ll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way!”[
]Another Arty and muppet…
Muppet is in a hospital bed completly wrapped up in a body cast. Arty gave him a rectal thermometer and said, “Don’t move- I’ll be right back”
When Arty returned the thermometer was in his mouth.
Arty asked in amazement, “How did you get that in your mouth, you can’t even move?”
“I hiccupped”.[][]At age 4, success is . . . Not peeing your pants
At 12, success is . . . Having friends.
At 20, success is . . . Having sex.
At 35, success is . . . Making money
At 60, success is . . . Having sex.
At 70, success is . . . Having friends.
At 80, success is . . . Not peeing your pants.[
][]Amazing use of English
Can the readers of The Tribune imagine that a word in the English language can be used in a sentence as many as five times consecutively? Amazing! Isn’t it? Yes, of course. Now please read on.
I quote here two sentences which are based on two letters published in a popular weekly during the time when Pt Jawaharlal Nehru was our Prime Minister. The first sentence uses the word “and” five times consecutively as under.
In a certain issue of the weekly the headline on the front page appeared as “Nehru and Menon”. Referring to it, a reader wrote the following sentence in his letter addressed to the Editor:
“The space between ‘Nehru’ and ‘and’ and ‘and’ and Menon was very small.”
Not to be left behind, yet another reader used the word “that” five times. According to him, a certain student had wrongly used the word “that” in a sentence in his essay. Referring to the sentence, the reader quoted the teacher’s following remark in his letter addressed to the Editor:
“The teacher said that that “that” that that student wrote in the sixth line of his essay was wrong.”
A. K. SURI
Chandigarh
i resorted to cheating and found an answer at the bottom of this page;Well done how did you find that that “that” is very cool.[
][]Muppet and Arty…..
• Muppet was amazed to find Arty playing chess with his dog. Muppet watched the game in astonishment for a while.
“I can hardly believe my eyes!” Muppet exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Nah, he’s not so smart,” Arty replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five”.[
][]• Q: Why do Farts stink?
A: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too.• Q: Why do men pass gas more than women do?
A: Because women would not shut up long enough to build up pressure.[
][
]Hey Westan,
this late you are thinking about Santa so you must be in category 1.
[]What about this category..
5. Who is santa?
[
]Another one..
(Definitions: “westie” – someone living in the poorer areas of western
Sydney, usually, loudmouthed and ignorant, & keep their homes looking like
junkyards. “centrelink” – social welfare office).A single westie mum goes to centrelink to register for child benefits. “How
many children?” asks the centrelink officer.“10”, she answers.
“10!” says the centrelink officer. “What are their names?”
“Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig & Craig”
“Doesn’t that get confusing?” he asks.
“Naah…” says the westie chick “its great because if they are out playing
in the street I just have to shout ” CRAAIG, YER DINNERS READY” or CRAAIG
GO TO BED NOW” and they all do it…”“What if you want to speak to one individually?”, says the perturbed
Centrelink officer.“That’s easy,” says the westie mum ………” I just use their surnames”.
[
]There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.
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.He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
If u got this wrong…pls go dig a hole and hide.[
][]all losers can make a group and sing together… [
]Being Undercover Moderator No one can Delete my post [
]Congratulations Pinky [
]I am undercover moderator so be careful! [
][]
A healthly family
Yes So food in fridge is not important! [][]Welcome bank Arty!
[
]I won! [
]
Not massive, but keeps the place tidier, a sign on letterbox…………….No Junk Mail……………………
If I am Tenant I need this sign Junk Mail Welcome. [
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]Hi Muppet,
How are you? I am here but alone so not much fun [
]. on sunday not a single post on the forum fun except mine. [][
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