Forum Replies Created
Wat????? weird!
Thanks you all give me good ideas….with this separation going on…i feel totally spaced out…i can't focus…some times i can't even think or make a decission…i feel so stupid…i'm usually in control and very smart….i'm thinking of changing my job now…so that i can work and study…like i said….i planned to live with him forever…i gave up my studies to care for the kids and the home…he continued his studies and now earns heaps…i'm afraid and excited at the same time….BUSINESSGLOBAL – you mak perfect sense…removal fees would cost me $5-6 K…could save that for a good lounge and dinning suite. And please tell me the names of the support groups…i don't know any…never needs support before.
OPTIONS-MENTOR – I dont know much about property options…but when i get a moment I'll check out the link you sent…thanks.
ASABOvE – I'm trying to maintain a good positive relationship with my husband for the children's sake…..i mentioned before, if he lets me relocate with the kids, i'll agree not to touch his super….so all is cool so far. I will never get between him and the children…i just cant be with him anymore….its like I'm in a leaky boat that's slowly, but progressively sinking and no-one will help me keep it afloat…and I'm getting extreemly tired trying to save it…if i give up..it'll sink…but still, no help…so I'm jumping ship!!! I'm too tired now…i can't work it any more…i want a rest.I'm sooo confussed still over where to go…sydney or adelaide…..i know adelaide is cheaper….but….i have a very close friend in sydney as well…adelaide for financial reasons or sydney for personal reasons…which one would be more wiser…surely what i could do in adelaide i should be able to do in sydney ay? Surely i could find reasonable property in sydney like in adelaide? Should i buy all my furniture second hand, for my new place or get the odd nicer sofa or dining table? My husband earns ALOT of money…and i'm walking away from it all…into nothing…i admit i do feel alittle embarrassed having friends over with ugly furniture…but at the same time….i dont want to waste money…this is all i have. Man I cant believe how nitty gritty i'm becoming or have become!!! I know what you'll say…gotta make sacrifices, tell me….if you were in my shoes….$100K no job for probably 1-2 months…no car..no furniture…2 kids under 9…how much would you spend on establishing a home for yourself and the kids….and how much would you strictly keep to reinvest?
Thanks Ryan…dah!!!
DD…sorry to hear that…was she 40?
If so man…i am so suprised that a majority or women do this around 40…weird….this is what my husband said to me once…cause i want to renovate and make a profit and sell..he said…why spend $20K to upgrade the kitchen or bathroom…when your only going to get that $20K back when you sell…is that true…if i spent $20k upgrading the bathroom….will it only add $20 K to the value of the house? If I spent $50 K upgrading the wet areas…will it only add $50K to the value of the property?OK everyone bear with me….I am extreemly inexperienced…and as some say…green!!! BUT…….
Nathan-B what is CG and CF ?
Crusty – when you say……. 'limited supply'….of housing…right? And how do you know if its the most desirable location if you're not a local? And…..'put down 10% deposite, usaully to a devolper who needs to get some sales under his belt.' what's he developing? more housing? so if he is developing some units…put down 10%…right?
"purchased feb 09………Costs so far is $1,200"…….. don't you mean $11200, cause the deposit was out of your pocket right?
" One of the gems this agency offered to me at a bargain below market value"………………………. how does an agency offer you something like this? I can't see me being offered something like this.
"Another time also bought land found only 2 blocks available so I bought them both sold one for 30% profit with in 3 weeks didnt even have to pay stamp duty." How did you get away with not paying stamp duty? Don't you have to sell after a certain period to get away with stamp duty?I live in Katherine, 350km south of Darwin….I cant get bond assistance because I still have access to the house…because my husband has allowed me to continue to do family day care here…at the moment he is staying with his friends…but in a couple of months…he'll move back in and I will have to find somewhere else to live and work.
Well at times I'm am desperate…depends on the ex….if he's in a bad mood…hell yeah…I wanna leave town asap!!!…but things have been reasonably good for the last few days…so I'm cooling down and taking it more slowly…but I know…soon down the track…it's going to hit me…and I'm going to be in the shi@#$. I've gotta have options now to consider…so that I'm not sooooo confused when the time comes…..at the moment because I do Day care at home….he's letting stay in the house to continue to work…but soon…he's going to pay me out and OUT I have to go….so I'm trying to get my own place now but, no-one will give me any bond assistance…so I'm more or less on my own. But I don't care….I'm a very capable woman…my kids are so well behaved…I can do this…..I don't need a high wage paying man!!!!!
I'm cool…got my head on right…just the husband's stress sometimes becomes mine..because his bad at managing his stress. I try my best to stay relaxed and i dont dwell over negative things, just keep moving forward. I'm in no rush to buy yet…i'm looking at december…until the children get used of us two living apart, then relocate. Thanks everyone, your all very supportive and I really appreciate your time and opinion. Should I buy more properties at the bottom end of the market? Some middle or just 2 decent ones?
sonyasal wrote:Hi,I can soooo relate to you, i am a divroced mum of three children under ten, i have been divorced for three years (best three years of my life!) I have bought my PPOR and three IPS in this time. Admittedly I had a little more money, about $170K when i divorced, but I wasn't working and relocated 600 klms away from where I had been living to a large regional town where most of my family lived. My dad died last year, but my older brother and sister and their familes live here, so it's nice to have family support.
I now work full time as a teacher, so can have school holidays with my children and still earn an income that allows me to invest.
A couple of things to know and be aware of:Furniture – nearly all my furniture was bought at garage sales or on ebay, good solid furniture that is still going strong and as cheap as chips. Bulky items like lounges sell cheap on ebay, just need to be able to pick it up.
Moving away from ex – be reeeaally careful here you may run into trouble withe the child support agency as the ex may complain that he doesn' t have contact with the children. What are the custody arrangements? My ex professed to wanting to have 35% care of the children, however as soon as the divorce was through he moved 1200klm away with his 3rd wife!!! This meant that he had breached the parenting orders so I was free to move where I wanted to
If you are receiving government support you are entitled to rental assistance payments, but if you buy a PPOR then you don't get these payments. So you could rent and recieve financial support and still buy an IP.
if you want to talk please feel free to PM me or call me
cheers and good luck
Sonya
I agreed not to touch his super as long as I could relocate with the children…a friend told me I will have to rough it for a few years and buy everything second hand…not looking forward to this…what is PPOR? If I have IP's will the government stop giving me some sort of financial support…at the moment I get nothing from centrelink because i cant supply them with certain tax statements….not sure how long before I can give them what they want. I do family day care at home…so that I'm there for the children…if they get sick or on school holidays. I should be able to start up again if i relocate
Thanks everyone…all opinions are greatly appreciated and I will consider anything and everything and weigh it all up…I do plan to take baby steps and take it slow…$100K is alot to blow and at the same time…not much at all. Keep all the ideas coming please…..
businessglobal wrote:mmm- based on seeing many cases in my office like this and advising on them- I can say I see a lot worse that your situation, and if you still have 100k, health, young age and your mental faculties things look bright. Probably the most important thing is to stay close to your kids and not move away from them, take a mini holiday, join some gym, sports groups, and keep active, as your kids really need you also. I went through my parents divorce and was very sad my mum moved away, and took my younger brother and I stayed with Dad to help look after him- shop, cook, look after my pets, and stay in my school.Maybe move a different suburb or different type of home/ apartment, keep your job as in all of this situation try not to make too many radical changes, make changes slowly and it will be easier- rather than job, moving, and isolating yourself away from your children/ friends/ rels.
Join a soial group, Im not sure if you have faith but maybe going to church 1 x per week and meeting new friends, prayer etc also helps a lot to give you strength.
Try not to focus too quickly on building wealth, money, assets etc as your mind and emotions probably need a little rest and time to recover, otherwise youll wear yourself out to a haggard mess.
Regardless of your ex, you have kids to raise and probably will one day need to make civil relations with her if the kids are sick, or go wayward they will need both parents.
Im not sure where you are based but Im happy if you give me a call as I have lived through all of these things with my parents, and seen all the results of divorce. Please email me your phone number or email and Im happy to have a little chat with you.
By trade I am a property advisor and specialist but I am happy to have a general chat with you
The kids will come with me, I'm cool about the divorce, I want it more than him, I will never get in between him and the children, just that he really wants me to stay, and I 'really' want out, that's why I've gotta move away from him. The thing is, He is the main income earner, not me, I took care of the children and the home and bills etc, but I don't care about money, I just want out, I care for him, I dont love him, but I need to rebuild without him.
