Investing Married Couples – how do you do it?

Hi Michael,

I’m married with two kids and my wife thinks property investing is a bit iffy. I manage to do all my investigating and property reading last thing at night when the kids and my wife are in bed. It’s not easy finding enough time but then you just need to pace yourself accordingly.

It’s kinda working for me at the moment.

Cheers

Hi Michael,

The first thing you need in a marriage is to invest in yourselves. Do the wedding that she wants, take a honeymoon that you will never forget. You are not about to run out of time.

Magellan and wife may not have spent much on their wedding, but that was obviously a mutual thing. Likewise yours needs to be mutual. Forget the concept of pre Nup, unless it had already been discussed. Things change, my wife had more to offer financially than I did when we started out, but things have changed.

We did not own any property when we got married, when we did buy our home late in the first year of marriage, we borrowed all we could to get the place we wanted. The wife was the one pushing for us to buy an IP, I was the one doing all the research, reading books, working out finances etc. 5 years on (next month), I’m the one who reads the books, does the research, organises finance, does all the spreadsheets etc on the numerous IP’s that we have since purchased. That’s what I do though, because I enjoy it. The wife, loved our trips interstate to have a bit of a holiday and check out potential IP’s. She is the one with pen and paper, comparing the goods and the bads of each property, I crunch the numbers. We are both involved, but with distinctly different roles.

You say “I had grand visions of …”, does the fiancee, know about this vision ?
Just for a moment put yourself in her shoes, is she saying “We have this wedding to organise, and he is spending all his time on the net searching for property , or reading books on property… I wish he’d just focus on us for a while.”

There is this old technique that can help alleviate some of “your” concerns, it’s called “communication”. The topic and timing need to be right though.

You will both get there, we and many other have. Others will realise when, by the fact that you without even knowing, substituted “I” for “we”.

You continue learning, her part in will come, it just may not be as you had envisaged.

Ps. I’m really crap at the above metioned “Communication” thing. I get it right sometimes though, either by blind luck , or the fact that I actually attempted.

Mal

Getting out of your comfort zone, can help you become comfortable

Hi Michael

My wife Bonnie will be the first to agree that only 2 years ago she struggled against coming on board the journey to become financially free.

Looking back now she would say she thought it was my role to do the finance stuff and whilst she had 2 degrees and a great career (a geologist) she threw it in to raise our boys, (now 3, 5 & 7). And she just didn’t have time to read any books let alone investing books.

Things are different now, she manages our portfolio, both residential and commercial here and overseas. The rewards for her have been far more than the monetary things (which are nice) that spin off from our teamwork.

To pinpoint the change? I like to think it was my unending enthusiasm which culminated to a tipping point when I “dragged” her along to a Steve & Dave seminar. Where she said (with all due respect) if these boneheads can do this so can we. And we have.

I have no doubt you can achieve your goals on your own but we have gotten there quicker working together. Let me suggest you start by asking your fiancee, her needs, wants and desires. And work with those with the view to getting her on board.

Regards

Tony

Hi Mabbot,

The above comments are all excellent. My two bob’s worth:

– for the moment concentrate on the wedding. Two reasons – it is a heck of a lot for one person to plan on their own (and if you work together it will make it that much more special for YOU on the day! There’s no rule set in stone saying that it is ONLY the bride’s day!), and secondly if you show interest and excitement in this (her “thing”), then down the track she may be more likely to show interest and excitement in PI (your “thing”).

– At some stage after the wedding and honeymoon (or maybe even during the honeymoon, if you decide to have one!), both of you should read “The Wealthy Barber”. It is a very readable book, written like a novel, about what anyone and everyone can do now to be wealthy in the yrs to come. This was the book that fired my wife up to read and research further. After this one, I’d suggest Rich Dad Poor Dad (to expand her reality), one of Steve’s (also because they’re very readable and not too daunting, but full of great inspiring stuff), and then some more of the Rich Dad series (perhaps Retire Young Retire Rich, and Real Estate Riches). I guarantee that once she’s read all, or even one or two, of these books, she’ll be firing on all cylinders, and chomping at the bit to get out there! That’s where my wife is now – so I can vouch for this path. It does work!

Best of luck with all this Mabbot. For now though, concentrate on that wedding! It will (hopefully!) be the only one you’ll ever have, so make it AWESOME!

Regards,

Adam

Don’t let life get in the way of living.

Yes, J (wife) is very helpful. If your partner believes in you and supports you, especially when it involves lots of Zero’s ($), then that is extremely helpful. J works a 37.5 hr week herself, pays all household expenses, does the bulk of the shopping, cooking, housekeeping,(generally before I even get home) and has supported me through 6 years of Uni. She has been to about 30 property inspections with me this year.
In the last 18 months, she has lost her father, had a miscarriage, had an ectopic pregnancy, surgery, stresses about me finishing uni and changing jobs, plus we refinanced an IP and have purchased 2 other IP’s, both interstate.

In the grand scheme of things, now that you make me think about it, J does heaps, more than I probably give her credit for. Bugger, I should probably buy her some of those flowers she whinges that I never buy her.

Mal

Getting out of your comfort zone, can help you become comfortable

Hi Mabbott!

In a partnership one compliments the other in some way or form.

In my own scenario I am the one that does all of the searching and number crunching, I tend to suss out the finance side of things, tradies, PM etc.

Although it does not seem my partner does alot, I rely on him to keep me sane and grounded when things go wrong and believe me when they go wrong you need your rock there. I communicate every step of the way and ask for his thoughts to keep him involved with what is happening.

Enthusiasm is contagious, everthing I read that gets me excited rubs off to him.

So my words of wisdom to you communication is the key to making anything work.

Good luck with your investing [thumbsupanim]

Jenny

Jenny1

Hi Mabbott and others

Great thread. I got fired up a couple of years ago after reading Kiyosaki, then Steve’s books, then finally attending a Masterclass earlier this year. My husband was supportive enough but not to the point of reading the books or attending the seminars (“I’m too busy”). We decided to look in NZ, not because lots of others were doing it but because we have been visiting the country on and off for the last 20 years and are thinking of moving there in a couple of years when kids are through school/uni. Partner loved the holiday and became quite enthused when actually viewing properties, so I quickly realised for him it was the ‘doing’ and not the research/money etc side of things that would keep him involved.

We are now investing in the States which ties in well with his work which involves substantial travelling, mostly to the States. So now he can go look at the properties over there, take photos, talk to the agents, then we discuss when he comes home and go ahead or not – and I do all the organisational stuff.

Let your fiancee research cakes and whatever for your big day, enjoy your early days together, then slowly find out which bit of PI appeals to her. Jenny was right – with good communication you can make anything work. Best of luck to you both.
Jane

Sparky’s nailed it! Tell them PI means they can quit the daily grind and watch the level of enthusiasm go into orbit. Are women more savvy? Not going into that area, just find each other’s strengths and go with that. I’m an accountant turned TAFE teacher so I was always going to be good at dull grey boring details, hubby’s an entrepreneurial engineer and is heaps better than me at big picture stuff. We’ve spent years learning to communicate and trust each other and like Sparky, he now signs any document I shove under his nose, also happily gave me a power of attorney because he’s away so much. At that stage you just become a great team and I’m sure you’ll get there.[exhappy]