New Zen Rules

>New Zen Rules
>
>Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
>I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact,
>just F# *k off and leave me alone.
>
>The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat
>tyre.
>
>The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your
>neighbour’s milk, that’s the time to do it.
>
>Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
>
>Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
>
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>No one is listening until you fart.
>
>Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
>
>Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>
>If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a
>couple of mortgage payments.
>
>Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
>That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their
>shoes.
>
>If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
>
>Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
>he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>
>If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
>worth it.
>
>If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
>
>Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.
>
>Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
>
>Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from
>bad judgment.
>
>The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
>back in your pocket.
>
>A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
>Gaffa tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and
>it holds the universe together.
>
>There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>
>Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
>
>Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
>
>Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>
>We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ….then
>things get worse
>
>[biggrin][biggrin]
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There are 3 types of people:1. People who make things happen.
2. People who watch what happens.
3. People who wondered what happened.