A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie’s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.
The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, “Nope. . . due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So. . . what’ll it be?”
The woman didn’t hesitate. She said,
“I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Gadzooks,lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”
The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time,and is faithful. That’s what I wish for, a good mate.”
The Genie let out a long sigh and said,”Let me see that f*cking map!”
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?”
The barman says, “Yep, that’s them.”
So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?”
Bush says, “We’re planning WW III “.
And the guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”
Bush says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big boobs.”
The guy exclaimed, “A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big boobs?”
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, “See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!”
After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together.
Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.
Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle’s was cold.
The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address.
His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher’s wife whose even older husband had died only the day before.
When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead.
Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:
Dearest wife,
Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow. Your loving husband.
P.S. Things are not as we thought. You’re going to be surprised at how hot it is down here
[biggrin]
Cheers
PropertyGuRu [sultan]
Mortgage Consultant
[email protected]NZ loan pre approval from Australia in 48 hours
Low Doc from 6.85%
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