Flat Tire
I was traveling between Perth and Geraldton the other day, and south of Geraldton when a tire blew out.
Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van.
He yelled out the window,”Need a lift?”“Yes, I sure do,” I replied.
“You a Liberal or Labor voter?” asked the old man.
“Liberal.” I replied.
“Well, you can just go to #^*,” Yelled the old man as he sped off.
Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.
Again, I gave the same answer,”Liberal.” The driver gave me the finger and drove off.
I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Labor voters.
The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde.
She smiled seductively and asked If I was a Liberal or Labor voter.?
“Labor!” I shouted.
“Hop in!” replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, I couldn’t help but stare at this gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.
Finally, I yelled,”Please stop the car.” She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.“I can’t take it anymore,” I replied. “I’ve only been a Labor voter for five minutes and, already, I want to screw somebody.”
REDWING
“Money is a currency, like electricity and it requires momentum to make it Effective”
Count The Currency With This Online Positive Cashflow CalculatorThe new priest is nervous about hearing
confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, “Cross your arms
over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand…. and try saying things like ‘yes, I see’, and ‘yes, go on’, and ‘I understand’ ” .The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his
chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.The old priest says, “Now, don’t you think
that’s a little better than slapping your knee and saying, “No sh*t…what happened next?”REDWING
“Money is a currency, like electricity and it requires momentum to make it Effective”
Count The Currency With This Online Positive Cashflow CalculatorDumb and dumberer
Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard.
One of the men walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck.He returned shortly and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.”
“All right. How long do you need them?”The customer paused for a moment and said, “I’d better go check.”
After a while, he returned to the office and said, –
“A long time. We’re gonna build a house…”REDWING
“Money is a currency, like electricity and it requires momentum to make it Effective”
Count The Currency With This Online Positive Cashflow CalculatorCAR WRECK
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but
amazingly neither of them are hurt.After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days”.
Flattered, the man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!” The woman continues, “And look at this, here’s
another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate
our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle to the man.The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…. “MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever AND cunning – watch out!.REDWING
“Money is a currency, like electricity and it requires momentum to make it Effective”
Count The Currency With This Online Positive Cashflow Calculatorlove that last one – youve some great jokes redwing – I’ll watch out for the women…
“If You never never ask, you’ll never never know”
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