A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to
thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the
same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before.Because both had jobs they found it difficult to coordinate their travel
schedules, so it was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a
Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day.Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. In his room
there was a computer so he decided to send his wife an e mail back in
Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left out one letter in address, and
sent the e-mail, without realizing his error.In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The
dearly departed was a minister who had been called home to glory following
a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from
relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted. The
widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw
the computer screen which read:To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve ArrivedYou’re probably surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and
you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and
checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival
tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
[:o)][:o)]Cheers
[
]
PropertyGuRu
[] So will she see her husband soon?…lol…
Warm Regards
ChanDollars
[Keep going, you’re on your way to Frolic Freedom!]Once she arrive she then be able to send email to her son …lol…
Warm Regards
ChanDollars
[Keep going, you’re on your way to Frolic Freedom!]Hehe………funny!
Here’s another one for you all.[]Cannibals [8]
Three ecologists are exploring deep in the jungle searching for new plant life when they are captured by a tribe of cannibals. They are taken back to the village to be tried by the chief. The chief stares at the white men and is about to give the usual “let’s boil them alive” orders, when he gets an idea.
“I shall let each of you go,” he says, “if you can go out into the jungle and within one hour, come back with 10 identical pieces of fruit.” The men are overjoyed when they hear this so off they run into the jungle to gather fruit.
Half an hour later, one of them comes back with 10 peaches and proudly brings them to the chief. The chief looks at the fruit and tells him that he will let him go if he can shove all 10 pieces of fruit up his bum without changing his facial expression.
He notices all the serious faces of the tribesmen so he starts to shove one up there, but with the peach halfway in he lets out an agonizing shriek of pain. The chief promptly gives the order to kill him.
Ten minutes later the second guy comes back and sees his friend lying dead in the dirt. The tribesmen grab him and tell him to open his hands for the chief. In his hands he holds 10 identical berries.
When the chief gives the same orders he is visibly relieved and quickly begins to shove the fruit up his rear end. 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9….. …then suddenly the guy busts out laughing! Not amused, the chief once again gives the order to kill the guy.
Now the two dead guys are up in heaven discussing what had just happened. “You only had one more berry to shove up your ass, and you were home free! Why did you start laughing?”
“I couldn’t help it. I lost it when I saw Fred coming down the path with 10 pineapples!”
-Blondie
PS I suppose stick fruit up ya bum would be like stuffin a chicken for cannibals?
Newbie comin through!
Originally posted by blondie_bec:Hehe………funny!
Here’s another one for you all.[]Cannibals [8]
Three ecologists are exploring deep in the jungle searching for new plant life when they are captured by a tribe of cannibals. They are taken back to the village to be tried by the chief. The chief stares at the white men and is about to give the usual “let’s boil them alive” orders, when he gets an idea.
“I shall let each of you go,” he says, “if you can go out into the jungle and within one hour, come back with 10 identical pieces of fruit.” The men are overjoyed when they hear this so off they run into the jungle to gather fruit.
Half an hour later, one of them comes back with 10 peaches and proudly brings them to the chief. The chief looks at the fruit and tells him that he will let him go if he can shove all 10 pieces of fruit up his bum without changing his facial expression.
He notices all the serious faces of the tribesmen so he starts to shove one up there, but with the peach halfway in he lets out an agonizing shriek of pain. The chief promptly gives the order to kill him.
Ten minutes later the second guy comes back and sees his friend lying dead in the dirt. The tribesmen grab him and tell him to open his hands for the chief. In his hands he holds 10 identical berries.
When the chief gives the same orders he is visibly relieved and quickly begins to shove the fruit up his rear end. 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9….. …then suddenly the guy busts out laughing! Not amused, the chief once again gives the order to kill the guy.
Now the two dead guys are up in heaven discussing what had just happened. “You only had one more berry to shove up your ass, and you were home free! Why did you start laughing?”
“I couldn’t help it. I lost it when I saw Fred coming down the path with 10 pineapples!”
-Blondie
PS I suppose stick fruit up ya bum would be like stuffin a chicken for cannibals?
Newbie comin through!
very funny, the last guy brought 10 duran….lol
Warm Regards
ChanDollars
[The bridge between where you are right now & where you want to be tomorrow is knowledge]
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